Friday, November 10, 2006
So far i count myself really screwed for the A's. I mean look at it this way, firstly, I had no idea what I was writing for my GP essay much less the freaking AQ. AQ used to be THE one and only thing I scored at. But frankly, on that faithfully day of the paper, I just had to lose it. Daym.
Maths was disastrous. Almost every single question came to a deadend. I actually couldn't do 49 marks worth of questions. Tell me how am I gonna get the A that i want :(
Sigh then it came to Chem, honestly I have no idea how to evaluate it. The only thing I knew was I tried best. Well, it's THE only consolation I'm giving myself. Besides what's done is done. Urgh!
Solution:
Velvety and I have decided that we are gonna retake our A's next year as private candies(!!). I don't know whether to feel grateful for the second chance but the fact that I am trying it again just goes to show I have actually left myself, my parents and You down. I made You a promise to focus and I didn't break it just that some things are not going the way I intended them to be. But I guess there's no harm to that, it's never too late to correct what you've done wrong. I did a mistake to slack like shit in J1 and I'm reaping the consequences of my actions now. I may have studied really hard for THIS but i guess it was a wee bit too late. Besides I don't want to enter the Uni with mediocre grades. I wanna get those A's cos I know I have the capability but now it seems so unattainable.(physically and mentally impossilbe although I know Impossile is nothing) Retaking the A's leaves me with a WHOLE year to leisurely study the entire A level syllabus with much ease since I did it once already. Sigh but I'm crossing my fingers, toes and heart hoping against all odds that some miracle might happen. ( Hopefully the plane carrying our papers gets hijacked and the papers go missing*hehehe) boooooooooboooooo but that's never the case.
"Had a bad day
Don't talk to me
Gonna write this out.
My lil black heart breaks apart with your big mouth
I am sick
My sickness,
Don't touch me you'll get this
I am useless lazy perverted
You hate me
You can't save me
While I wait for my wake up call and everything
Everything is my fault"
Cos you're the one that led me here, so take me.