Thursday, March 15, 2007
Omg I can't believe I spent close to 400 bucks over the time span of 3 hours last night. Vivo-ing was great fun and I'm happy with all that I've got. Yet as I sit here and think back on what I've bought I can't help but realise how selfish I am to splurge. Splurge on myself. Myself only. Sigh. I keep consoling myself saying my birthday is coming and I'm just getting myself a present but soon before I know it the one present became two and then three and then four and then... less than 20 bucks in my account now. Shits man. Impulsive shopping is bad. Real bad. I'm gonna repent.(but my pay is coming in tomorrow. Hahah)
I close my eyes and I take a deep breath and I think about my life and how I ended up this way. I think about the ruin, devastation and wreckage I have caused myself and to others. I think about self-hatred and self- loathing. I think about how and why and what happened and the thoughts come easily but the answers don't.
Cos you're the one that led me here, so take me.