bra's depraved mind

2008-05-13T13:56:00.001+08:00

Just a reminder

MOVED!
(to LJ a long time ago.)

2007-10-06T22:00:00.000+08:00

And so, many things have happened. There was...

1. Linette's Farewell Bbq thing

2. Our LONG awaited outing ...

and silly neoprint booth shots!!

3. My new job as an (smart) intern.

I did the whole factory model all by myself on this Sketchup software. (And I learned that NUS Architecture students only learn to use this software in Year Two. Well done, Deborah!) I was only taught once how to use it and left alone to complete it. It took me a day to finish it. (although previously, I took a week but because I forgot to save it thrice, I had to redo again. Anyway, I don't think you understand me and I'm too lazy to explain. So whatever)

4. Many many more things happened like how I met some really interesting people at Spins last night.. They made me laugh so much. I found someone who is scarier than me. And someone actually thinks I'm fierce. I'm not, okay?

This also marks my very last entry here. I'm gonna switch to LJ (like finally right) Those who have my LJ add, just add. It is time for more privacy!

Cheerios!

2007-09-20T14:59:00.001+08:00

Last day of work

These were ALL my farewell presents. It had only been a month of work and this was how everyone treated me. Although I'm not a fan of flowers and stuff, I was truly touched. Even the evil woman gave me something (the bouquet of flowers and the mouse)

Oh whatever.

2007-09-19T09:24:00.000+08:00

Lunch at Sushi Tei, 3 of us chalked a bill of $51. Comfort food.

It’s been such a long time since I last stayed up late. It has given me a headache and work for the last day tomorrow isn’t of any help. Although we didn’t have as much fun as we had at Spins, we found amusement in poking fun at an ah lian. Her shrieking voice was totally unbearable and gahhh….

“ Ni bo yao wo le…….” Ewwww.. yucks! Yucks! Yucks! And it took so long for the one of a kind slow Jo to get it.

Friday night, Homeclub. Tomorrow, I’ve to clean my freaking messy room. Tell me I don’t have a sad enough life. Oh! My mum got new curtains and blinds for my room because she claims I’m always flashing myself to the neigbhours opposite. Honestly, I don’t care. I’m so small anyway…

2007-09-13T11:23:00.000+08:00

Oh my gwad I can take this no longer. I HAVE to bitch! I hate my executive and so what if she is my executive. Mutual respect must exist. If you don't have respect for me, you can just dream on about me treating you nice. So anyway, I hate working at this firm. It is not the people I hate but A person whom I cant stand. The very look of her stinks the air and dampens my day.
She's freaking bossy and the number one rule in Deborah's Book of "Don't Step on her Toes" is NOT TO PUSH HER AROUND.

: "Next time I check and I find any mistake, I'll knock your head!"
WTF.

On a separate task, she made me redo 9 documents THREE f-ing times because each time she checked there was something wrong. Wrong meaning mistakes like she wanted the words to be Italics Bold then she wanted me to remove the inverted commas then the word "the". Why couldn't she just tell at one go? Mind you, all 3 times I had to re-print all of them.

And then this morning, I spotted TWO mistakes in her work. I told her off.
(*pause. Blink blink. Gahhh... I hate her stupid blinking) :" Oh okay.. I'll change it"
I was gloating in my heart. I felt so superior. HAHAH!

Later, she wanted me to do some BizFiling for her and I got stuck. She came by my desk to check on me. I hate the manner she talks. It just irritates and pisses me off. My jet black face and one worded answers were clear signs that I hated her. Like duh.

:" Are you angry with me?"
OMG, like how childish can you get?
: "NO!" I said it in my most loud, most firm voice. She must have peed. Anyway, I was damn happy that she sensed my hate for her. I smiled at the computer screen while my back faced her. In the corner, I heard my colleague snigger. We have been bitching about for a week now, ever since I confessed my dislike for her. To my surprise, I wasn't an exception!

I tendered my resignation today. And it is not because of that stinky woman but I'm going to work as an intern at an Architecture Firm starting next week! I'm so excited. At least, people there will be cool.

I hope Miss Annoyance will miss my hostility towards her. Some people like her kind just cant live without irritating another human being. All thanks to her, she is losing me....

2007-09-13T09:01:00.001+08:00

What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is and it just ain’t like that
Why can’t you look at me?
You’re still in love with me
Don't leave me crying

Baby why can’t we just start all over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But you’re telling me it won’t be enough

In this life, there's no such thing as a perfect relationship. I have my imperfections and so do you. I know our relationship was once an almost perfect one. I want to make it work, at least once more. If this chance is blown (once again), you can forever condemn me.
Our years together can't be forgotten in just an blink of an eye. You know the promises I made to and I remembered yours.

So why does your pride make you run and hide
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it’s a lie what you’re keeping inside
That is not how you want it to be

2007-09-11T17:21:00.000+08:00

My sister’s call wasn’t a mistake. I knew what was coming and I let it be because I wanted you to know the truth. The truth of what I had done. There was no way for me to tell you neither am I going to explain why I did what I did or justify those actions. I know I’m wrong and I know I brought this all upon myself. No one is to be blamed. I guess knowing my mistakes now aren’t going to change anything because this time it is for real, for forever.

I chose to sit at the spot we did by the river over having lunch with my colleagues. I sat under my umbrella reliving the silly moment we spent hiding from the heavy rain while everyone franticly ran away in search of shelter. Each time looking towards the empty spot on my right, wishing you were there. Flashbacks of the times we had crossed my mind….

The first day you came down to meet me for lunch, I brought you to eat the beef noodles that you’ve grown to love.
Another time, I brought you down the basement of Chervon House to eat at the crowded Korean place. I know you loved their Bulgogi.
Almost everyday after that, you came down just to have lunch with me. Each time, I left earlier and returned later to office. Most of the time, we just sat at the spot in front of the river to bask and spend time talking about everything and anything.
We shopped for our “cheap” sushi and snacks at Carrefour. I t was for dinner during the NDP full dress rehearsal at the floating platform. We were hoping to see fireworks but instead we found amusement in the silly “Seaweed” signs that was held on stage. You stepped on the little girl’s foot and switched seats with me because she wouldn’t stop annoying me. That night at Billy Bomber’s, I remembered you shaped your fingers and blew me a heart bubble across the table.
We ate your first Ramly Burger together. It was a Wednesday. We ate it another time on a Sunday.
The day you rushed down after school (just so we got to meet at least once a week.), we had dinner at Dome. It was a Thursday. Then we strolled along the river towards Esplanade then to Marine Parade just so you could try their Mango Kakigori. You were so silly not to know the “sauce” was actually mango syrup.
You wore your green shirt for me because you knew I liked it and I was there when you bought it. We had our Thai Express dinner. It was your first time eating their Red Bean dessert. I know you love. It was a Thursday.
We ate my first Swordfish collarbone together. You rushed to town right after your tkd camp so we could meet. It was a Saturday.

“Babe, I think you are the one (too). You’re the one that I want to marry. I know it’s you.” *Brings my hand towards your lips.

My heart aches when I remind myself of you.

When I’m home, I’m too drained to do anything much less have dinner. At seven, I just go to bed. Maybe it is my way of letting my stomach feel the pain while taking the pain away from my heart.

There is nothing I can do that will make them go away. I am thinking about her. I am thinking about her even though I don't want to think about her. I am thinking about her. I am thinking about her because I can't forget her, because I continue to look back at her. She is the only one. I can't let go of what once was and what will never be again. I can't face the fact that she is gone gone gone, I can't face the fact that it was me who drove her away. I was with her. I loved her. I drove her away. I am thinking about her even though I don't want to think about her.

Give me a second chance.

2007-09-10T10:22:00.000+08:00

DanceFloor Anthem- Good Charlotte

You are not the only one with a fragile heart.

Is it that easy to forget the places we went? The places we ate? The places we wanted to go?
Is it that easy to forget the memories we share?
Is it that easy to just find someone fit for your fragile heart?
22 months was a time sufficient for you and I to?
Why didn't we?

I've my flaws, I'm not perfect but I try to be.

Dont forget I was the one who went all the way to Jurong just to give you that hug you needed, to buy you the meal you craved so badly.
Dont forget how I surprised you at your doorstep with your breakfast?
Dont forget the numerous blows I got for being with you.
If this ain't love then what is?
Dont forget the food you dreamt of cooking for me, the apartment we wished to live in, the pets we'll keep.
Dont forget how you brought my hand to your lips. Just to show me how you felt.
Dont forget how we gave each other squeezing hugs.
If this ain't love then what is?

I guess I was wrong about you.

Is it me you think of when you come across some place new?
Is it me that you see everywhere you go?
Is it me that's on your mind the first thing in the morning?
The last before you sleep?

I need to get used to this.

We were the best couple in town.

We break up, it's something that we're doing now.
Everyone has got to do it some time.
It's okay, let it go.
Get out and find another one.

It's too late to be dripping on the phone right now.

2007-09-07T08:59:00.000+08:00

I just watched Ratatouille (Rat-a-too-ee). Heheh. I love it SO so much! Especially Remy's fatty fatty brother. Makes me wanna pinch him so badly. I give it 5 HUGE stars, everyone should go watch! So anyway, I HAVE TO START DOING MY PORTFOLIO. Sigh. Starting something is JUST so hard. I wish on a falling star that my dad will get me a Mac!

She's going out to forget they were together
All the time, she was taken for granted
She wants to see if there's more out there.

2007-09-05T09:21:00.000+08:00

Ugly people I hate. Although sometimes I pity them, other than that I still dislike them. I don't associate myself with them.
People around me say you’re ugly (and I could do better), I hide you from them. Is it cos I’m afraid they’re right about it and I'm too ashame of you or is it cos I cared too much for you to be hurt?
Waking up to a drool patch on my right, the exact spot I found on your pillow we slept on.
Walking myself to the station, and on the grass lies a bottle of Yeo’s Lemon Barley drink.
Entering the lift reeking of your Victory League scent.
Were all these mere coincidence or were they signs or was I just reading too much into them?

Sometimes, it feels like I’m stuck in reverse.

If you want me gone, I will. But then again, why had you ask me over on 8 May. I shouldn’t have gone cos now it’s harder to leave than it previously was.

I don't want to be so needy but I can't help being.
I just want a hug to tell me you'll be here forever.

Do you care?
I wish I could be every little thing you wanted. All the time.

2007-08-29T13:36:00.001+08:00

I'm gonna apply for La Salle! No more wishy-washy indecisive-ness anymore. I haven't told my parents on my decision yet, they still think I'm gonna apply for NIE. Bleah. (I mean this is the WORST case senario. Who sees me as a teacher, has got to be kidding.....) BUT my portfolio has to be in-the-making... Grr. Side-note: To hell with this current job, it's a temporary permanent job and anyway it pays well. Did I mention I got my FIRST pay after TWO weeks of non-SENSE work??? $713 after deduction of CPF and whatnots. Not bad right? Heh. I might just start my shopping spree soooooooooon. Hahahahahaha

2007-08-21T13:34:00.000+08:00

Hello People,

I'm gonna change my blog to livejournal pretty soon (so that I can write about certain stuff without certain people being nosey, irritating and annoying) and I promise I'll update more regularly.

Cheers.

Fyi, I hate my job. I want to study. VERY BADLY.

2007-08-04T16:20:00.001+08:00

Lately....

This is what I've been up to......

My Aunt has a hobby and I'm just taking part in it. It was fun! Go view more of her work and comments on them, Check Here!

Moral of the story: You don't need to have height to be a model. Heh

2007-07-04T16:54:00.000+08:00

The kitchen + toilet renovations started on Monday (9am SHARP). I was literally shaken out of bed actually.... so was everyone else. We haven't totally packed and sealed the doors and blah blah.... Two days of drilling, hacking and noise have come and gone. My mum marvelled at how I could sleep through ALL the noise. I took an afternoon nap on Monday (for three hours) and I slept till 12pm the next day(Tuesday) when they started the drilling shit at 9 am SHARP again. Today is peaceful since they only need to mix the cement and sand and lie the tiles and the what nots.. plus I'm not even home.
Adios people!
Goodbye and Good Night.

2007-06-26T14:31:00.000+08:00

When does an addiction become an addiction?

Do you know...
I know you like this song.

We were at Sentosa!

Eating the yummy onigiri...

And then "Someone who has huge teeth gap(s)" dropped seaweed/rice grains on the towel.

Don't believe me... look at the donkey's left ear. Spot the piece of green thing..

Toilet Shots!

Oscar Shots!

She didn't even have to try..

Our tandem ride. My trishaw uncle.

And I want you to know and
Forget about the past because
Now You're every little thing I ever wanted.
Forever and ever.

TAG Replies!

LP, how are your exams coming along??? I just texted you. R-E-P-L-Y!
Azie, haha I got someone to download for me already. Thanks anyways!
Clare, people who get periods on the same day are best friends!! Too bad it doesn't include you.. Hohohohooo...
Weiling, Correction: I sneaked out AFTER songs. Stupid girl, you exclaimed so loudly.. I think everyone knew I was escaping from voting....

2007-06-20T15:34:00.001+08:00

I want these songs in my playlist.

Lately, I'm love with Dishwalla's songs.
1) Every little thing
2) Somewhere in the Middle
3) Angels or Devils
4) Candleburn
5) Home

Hellogoodbye's songs are kinda cutesy and nice too.
6) Baby, it's fact (currently playing as you are reading.)
7) Oh, is this love.

So, if you were looking out for songs to download, this might be of some help. (Not that I'm encouraging you to... But when you do, send them to me.)

TAG Replies!

Mui, who asked you to pose for those pics like that??! It is a form of amusement which needs to be shared! Study hard okay?!
Clare, I bought a new bag!! You will faint when you look at it and when I tell you the price.
Weiling, I was at church but you weren't!
Azie, hahah I only listen to nice songs what.

2007-06-14T11:29:00.000+08:00

The Hot Flushes and Cold Feet only lasted that night. I'm jumping about and lazying around as per normal :D

Everybody,
I want you to meet my pregant babe.

:" Baby I can't wait for Dim Sum tmr!!'
:" Yeah! The thought of it is making my mouth water!"
:" But your mouth is always watering! You watered my hair yesterday."

2007-06-12T09:26:00.000+08:00

If you were wondering how I'm doing...
I'm fine.

At least my mum and I are talking normally and stuff. I'm thankful that I'm (more or less) accepted/ forgiven by her.
Sorry if I haven't been replying your messages.
:"You must have saved alot alot alot of your messages."
Hahaha I'm glad we had our sushi bingeing on Sunday. At least, I'm not gonna grow fat alone. There are two others. Heh.

I watched both Shrek 3 and Ocean's Thirteen yesterday. So if you wanna date me for a movie.. I'm still available for POTC. Heh. I liked Ocean's Thirteen, so much so I actually dreamt of it last night. I was one of the thirteen in the mission of stealing from the casino. Hahaha. Oh anyway, did I mention I experienced Hot flushes PLUS Cold feet last night??!! (No, it is not because of my absolutely silly dream) So although my upper body was feeling hot like hell hot, I was covering myself in blanket because my feet were freezing. Talk about being psychotic. I've absolutely NO idea what's wrong with me :( My whole bone structure is aching like F might I add.
-Somebody please save me

2007-06-04T15:29:00.000+08:00

You ask if I'm alright. It had been a joke to say I'm fine. Putting on a smile doesn't hide all the pain I feel inside. I always thought that if you left me alone then I'd be liberated but I guess it's the reverse. Your care for me is bountiful but I find it hard to walk the path you want.

Things at home are not exactly fine.
1) My mum isn't talking to me.
2) My sister messaged this morning:
"Mummy is sick. Don't know why she just fainted on the floor. Has high fever and don't know what. Keeps crying also."
"She doesn't wanna eat or drink. Put wet towel on her face also don't want. Just now she asked me to read to her ah ma's fav passage in the bible. The valley of darkness one. Like she wants to die or something. I cooked the porridge already but she also don't want to eat."
3) It hurts alot when I see my mum in this state, I blame myself for all these. She found out things she shouldn't have and I guess it angered/saddened her.
4) I'm drifting myself away.
5) I wanna find solace in you because I find comfort when I confide in you but in my mum's eyes you're not exactly the one I should turn to. Even then, sometimes I find it hard to open up to you.
6) I don't know how things can get better. I don't even know how to help myself.

-I type these here, is not for to judge me. I'm like everyone of you, just a little different. I can't hide this anymore, pretending that I'm alright.

Waking up to find another day

The moon got lost again last night

But now the sun has finally had it's say

I guess I feel alright.

But it hurts

when I think,

when I let it sink in

It's all over me

I'm standing here in the dark

I'm watching you sleep, it hurts a lot

2007-06-01T15:08:00.000+08:00

I share good stuff.
You were surprised at how fast I learned the lyrics.

Umbrella + Rain + River + You + Me

*Nudge nudge.
:"...Look! They're so cute!"

2007-05-30T10:17:00.000+08:00

:"You know what's a lesbian?"
: (stares hard and answers with a tilt) " I think it's a type of gangster!" *Nods head.

My little cousin is so cute.

'Cos you're every minute of my everyday.

2007-05-29T10:28:00.000+08:00

Ah Long & Evelyn's Wedding on Saturday 26 May

Who's the world's greatest mum?
Me with Nathan.
Clare with Nathan.
Pei with Nathan.
Clare with Prisca.

Pei, Me, Mui, Evelyn (the bride) and Clare.

Mui, Me, Clare and Pei.

2007-05-29T09:55:00.000+08:00

World Beach Volleyball Challenge (Part 2)

At the warm-up court (in front of our ticketing booth)

During the semi-finals (I think) Brazilian Team Juliana and Larissa. Later we managed to get a pic with Juliana and their fans who were so enthu. The funny thing is they aren't exactly young, they can easily pass of as my mum but their enthu-ness amuses Clare and I.

This was during the Finals. Talita is my eyecandy. See the top two pics of the collage? Yeah that's her. She has a body and looks to die for.. literally. The bottom two pics are the enthu fans! They are so funny.

Prize Presentation! In the end, the team that Talita belonged to, won the whole challenge!
First- Brazil Team B
Second- China Team A
Third- China Team B

We got to take pics with the players and the Brazilian coach! Clare and I managed to get the Competition Bra- Jerseys of the China Team and we went into their Hotel Room.

Thanks to Clare! Cos I stole her HARD work(the pictures.) I know you don't mind. Hahaha.

P.S Remember Miss Cool from the previous post. She turned out to be my eyecandy! Then I didn't know her but know I do.... :D :D

2007-05-24T21:47:00.000+08:00

World Beach Volleyball Challenge (Part 1)

It started today but Clare and I were there yesterday cos we were the Ticketing IC (please sense the HUGE responsibilty bestowed upon us. Hehehe) I was too tired to update yesterday because the sun practically soaked up ALL of my energy. So anyway, I'm gonna let you in our FUN at Sentosa yesterday. Today's fun at the ticketing booth I'll leave it for another day. Plus exclusive pictures with the world reknown volleyball hotties!!! (only for faithful ones who would visit again. NEH.)

We started off the day by arranging the tickets in a way which could aid in our sales the next day but it was so easy that we finished the task in a blink of an eye. And the funniest thing is that was the only thing we were asked to do for that day. So we sat at the steps of the pavilion and........... people watch (:

First was Miss Cool....

who was obviously ignorant to our secret snapshot(s) of her.

Then came along Miss HOT Legs.

The one on the right. They're the Italian players by the way. Clare couldn't stop going on about how she wanted those legs....

Later came our (!)eyecandy(!). Mister HOT Japan Coach. (Credits to me for spotting him first. Our sole motivation to stay in the scorching sun. *swoons) Him with shirt

and without...

I'm pretty sure he knew we were spying (and eyeing) him. Hahaha. He kept walking up and down past us. Heeheehee.
Then he fades away.......

And by now, I guess you think we were damn free. You are so wrong... We were later asked to do a simple task. Notice the word S-I-M-P-L-E (cos it really wasnt at all) Just look at how we had to do..........
We were supposed to inflate this...

By what? Our pretty feet.
How? Manually.
By what? A pump.
How big? The size of our feet and compared to the size of the float which is 273543276536459436 times bigger than the puny pump.
Cos why? The machine meant for it spoilt.

So anyway, we were truly madly deeply working HARD. But before that we had fun being retarded( seldom do you get that.)

In the hamster wheel! Check out my OmFg face. Heh heh.

On the inflated part of the float! Notice the peace cheesy retarded pose. The sun was frying us, I swear. We used one of the stands at Red Bull Stall as the tripod by the way. Hurrr

And then, we got down to serious businesss..
My turn first (I think).

(after one hour)
Her turn.

My turn.

(after two hours)

And then I taught Clare to jump on the pump with TWO feet. It was so fun!

But stupid Clare was obviously a lousy terrible and horrible noob.

Notice she was falling while I was a pro! :D :D :D

Our half-filled float.

(after three hours)
Our filled float.

(after four hours!) Our sweat and blood!

We attracted the attention of the people in all the tents around us. They were amazed at our sheer determination and perseverance. A Red Bull guy actually offered us a part-time job to help give out cans of Red Bull. Pay $10 per hour. Not bad right?
Clare: Deborah! We haven't entered Uni and we are already head-hunted! Must be our 4 hours out here!

Ohh if you were wondering... that float was meant to hold a trampoline. And actually fixed it on later with the help of the guys setting up the Swatch Stall.
Our jumping shots(!)

I admit I'm lousy at it. HAPPY CLARISSA ENG???!!!

WE HAD FUN + OUR HARD WORK PAID OFF + WE ARE A SHADE HOTTER! HAHAHAHAHA LALALALAAAA

2007-05-22T11:18:00.000+08:00

Cause when we run,
when we hide.
We deny whats inside...

2007-05-17T17:10:00.000+08:00

When I see your smile
My heart smiles with you.

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

When somethings don't change while somethings can't be like it used to be.

-stifenebhtiwsdneirf

What do you do/reply when a 40 plus man (a man who can easily pass off as your dad) says you look exceptionally ravishing today?
Am I supposed to feel flattered(?)
I feel kinda creepy + nauseous actually, even my dad doesn't say such stuff.
ARGH

2007-05-15T09:57:00.000+08:00

Sometimes the hardest thing
and the right thing are the same.

You: What time did you sleep?
Me: I didn't sleep at all.

I could get used to this.

2007-05-10T10:14:00.000+08:00

My phone reads 4 am. And I conclude my sleeping order is officially screwed up. Woke up at 1230pm to realise I'd lunch appointment with QMK but then I cancelled it. Slept for another 4 hours later in the afternoon. It felt good as if I was drugged. Stoned. And I didn't want to wake up. I recalled calling you thrice. But I didn't know what for... I guess I just wanted to hear you. To talk to you. To tell you...

You taste like her,
only sweeter.

2007-05-04T11:25:00.000+08:00

If I told you you were beautiful,
would you date on the regular?

2007-05-03T15:50:00.000+08:00

What would you do today when you don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow?
Will you do all you can today?
Will you just wait for tomorrow to come then worry?
What if you were never gonna wake up?
What if you realise no one/no place/nothing is gonna accept you?
What are you to do?

I can hardly remember the last time I felt like I do...
Do know what to do.

2007-04-30T10:04:00.000+08:00

Who saw ME on TV last night?
Because I was! Okay it ain't a BIG deal. But I got to see Benji Schwimmer up close (my dream come true. *Swoons.) Thanks Cheryl! I'm forever indebted to you. Haha (: Watching the Dance Floor LIVE beats watching at home (as if I do.) But anyway I guess the atmosphere and people is just...different.

I think she knows
I'm lovestoned.

2007-04-27T16:06:00.000+08:00

My colleagues have a GREAT sense of humour. I got this in my email. Gonna miss them bad man.

Doesn't it crack you up?

Okay since you can't really see what are in the speech/ thought bubbles. I'll help you.
The cross-dresser: Kwa see mee LC! Chio Bu ah... Mer Part Kwa Kay AH( meaning... I don't really know but he basically thinks he is pretty. Gawd)
The ah pek: I better stop laughing
The woman in the background is laughing away.
The St Marg's girl: What the fish? (self-explainary)

What I wanna know:

(1) Who took this picture
(2) Why the hell is THAT guy (a damn freak, this what I mean by mis-fits. Cross dress also don't know how to do properly) dressed up like that
(3) Why would he not know someone was taking a picture of him
(4) What a FUGLY St Marg's girl

Lay down beside me

2007-04-26T14:46:00.000+08:00

Oh My Gawd I just finished watching "1 litre of Tears".
Click http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myW7igP8tMU
(I have started you on the first episode so there's no turning back. Haha! But there will be no regrets. Promise!)
As you can tell by the title, it's kinda sounds like a sappy drama. And yes, it is a very very very sappy one. I cried. Like alot. Imagine me crying. Not just tearing, like really crying. Okay anway, it depicts the life story of a girl who contracted a disease known as Spinocellular Degeneration (basically the person will slowly but surely lose all and every single bodily functions). Especially good when you're in the mood for crying. But the show is really inspiring and meaningful. It actually started me thinking on the meaning of life and somehow I learned the importance of appreciating the small little things that we as healthy people take for granted. Like walking, laughing, talking, writing, typing this post and even breathing that breath you're taking now.

The girl wrote many inspirational quotes and I shall leave you with my personal favourite;

What's wrong with falling down? You can always stand up again. And if you look up at the sky after falling down, the blue sky is stretching limitlessly and smiling at you... You're alive.

She finds comfort in the slightest things in life. Shouldn't you too?

2007-04-23T14:52:00.000+08:00

I've concluded that ONLY children this cute are worth having.

My darling cousin. I think he is the young version of American Idol's Chris Richardson. I foresee that he will grow up looking similar to him. He is so so so cute. I miss him. He is in Australia.

I don't like my God Brothers (Thank goodness there areONLY my god brothers and not my brother or else I would have made them mute.) They are noisy, attention-seeking and down right irritating. Not very cute at all. I couldn't even have a proper/quiet/peaceful meal last night.
This just gives me an absolute reason to stay unmarried and childless.

Whew! AJ is still in!

2007-04-20T16:52:00.000+08:00

My LUNCH today!

Shangri La Hotel THE LINE

Hmm.. Today's lunch was great (well it is a definite understatement) The Line is famous for their buffet spread and there was no doubt about it. Boss treated us to lunch to celebrate Secretary's Week. The buffet cost $43++ per head please but they had every single dish you could ask for. From Western to Japanese to Chinese (which includes Dim Sum) to Indian to Malay to blah blah alot alot alot more. I didn't even know where to start. Really.

Ermm.. Let me recall what I had, okay here's a list of what I ate today:
1)Crabs
2)Prawns
3) (and a tiny of) oyster

This was how SEAFOOD was served. Nice?

4) Salmon Sasimi (which was damn damn good but the wasabi was making me tear)
5) two pieces of Sushi
6) a slice of cheesy mushroom pizza
7) Smoked Salmon
8) a stick of lamb satay (that was really damn good especially the nutty gravy. HOT too.)
9) Dessert!!! was really ALOT

My fondue

I love to stare at the Fondue Fountain.

10) Crepe with a scoop of Cookies & Cream (luckily Zul and I shared.)
11) Fruits like honey pineapple and rock melon (because I needed to feel healthy)
To top it ALL off, I had
12) a glass of CalaMartini ( OMG heaven!!)
and a couple of pinching here and there of food, I really stuffed myself crazy. I swear.

Conclusion: I'm never gonna lose weight because I'm going back there someday. I LOVE TODAY!

Trivial:
Gabe (uncle sitting in front of me): Erm.. correspondant asked who is Deborah Thomasz. New employee arh? So I said... "Well not exactly, she's a temp but VERY IMPORTANT. Because she does ALL the filing. VERY FAST somemore. HAHAHA..

:) See! I'm NOT slacking like you all think I am. Remember I'M IMPORTANT as always. Hahaha

2007-04-17T14:06:00.001+08:00

UP-up-UP Dates!!!

This is especially for the loyal and faithful ones who have been constantly checking back here. Whoohoo. Much love! It is gonna be a long long LONG entry. Yes, so you've been warned. There's a treat at the END. Heh.

Saturday
I had my eyebrows trimmed and hair done. With Clar of course! (According to Hui Ling we're the Tai Tai(s) in the making. We haven't gotten to the part of manicure and pedicure leh. Haha) I had a Spa Perm alrights and I know there are so many of you who are dying to see the new me. (Well not exactly new since my natural hair is ALREADY kinda curly. But now it's less messy. Heh.) The Perming took me 3 whole hours. I sat there from when the sky was non-rainy to when it poured heavily to when it was fine and dark-cloudlesss. They washed my hair like a total of 5 times? But I loved the attention spent on who? On me! Hahaha.
In the night, I brought my mum and family out to dinner. Mummy's Birthday and I treated her to this Indonesian Restaurant, Pagi Sore. Food was fabulous because I chose it of course. The Avocado shake (is what I call it but they have the weird weird malay terms which I can't even read) is a MUST try! Mum loved her dinner and so did the rest of us. We were pretty much filled to the brim already but my mum still wanted to drink her teh tarik so we got it at Mr Teh Tarik (I didn't think it was THAT nice. I have it after my lunch almost everyday please.) It was getting late so we decided to head home. Sis wanted to pee and I accompanied her to the loo at Han's. We walked round and round the whole of Han but couldn't find later we realised it was outside Han's in an ulu corner. I decided to get my mum a cake since we forgot to get one in a hurry. I bought her a slice of the Durian cake, reason being everyone was already very full plus I didn't know if they had good cakes. Well, she was touched by the surprise when we met them. It was a pity I didn't bring my lighter cos the grumpy Han's auntie actually gave us a candle (which she was not allowed to).

Sunday
Clar's treat at Bishan Cartel (with Mui) after church but I wasn't really hungry so I had a banana crepe which I couldn't even finish (plus I thought I could make greater ones.) I don't like the service at Cartel (and then Mui reminded me they don't have service charge. So that's why they're so inefficient) and they actually allowed us to freeze for so long even after we told them (repeatedly) that we wanted the fans switched off so anyway we shifted ourselves to the seats beside us. We had fun laughing and trying to feed each other like we had broken/retarded arms (only me and mui. Clar thought we were way spastic but it's a skill okay?) Thanks Clar for the treat! :) My turn soon.

Monday
My first and only official off day! Don't count the times when
1) I mysteriously leave office and don't come back till late
2) Take half days and say I'm on urgent half day leave
3) Take the whole day off when I just didn't feel like waking up
So met Clar to do Her shopping and of course mine. Had Village lunch with her and I hated the counter people (if that's what they are called) because I couldn't even understand them since they were mumbling. They think I'm a master of lip reading is it? Annoying. Walked the whole of Far East then decided to rest our legs behind the pillar in BK. And guess what? The Highlight of the day: We witnessed an illegal transaction (that's what I had like to call it). This is gonna sound like a police report. So anyway, a slim/small-built/middle-aged guy dressed in a white T-shirt, blue faded jeans, an old baby blue Ralph Lauren pair of shoes and sporting a pair of white shades was seen with a stack of Thousand dollar bills (and when I mean a stack I really mean a stack like probably up to an inche? So go figure.) He was faunting the money, counting over and over again then fiddling and staring at it. And Clar went " You know if you have that kinda amount money you won't be handling them like that." I had to agree. Later a stout/plump/old man sat in front of the middled aged guy(let me call him "MAG" short form.) Then the MAG produced watches each wrapped in plastic bags. Clar went "I think MAG( she didn't say that but she meant him) is trying to con the old man!" My back was facing them throughout the whole thing that's why she saw everything but not me. Then we heard them naming prices so we figured they were bargaining. We contemplated to call the police but Clar and I didn't exactly know how to make a police report. And I suggested to tell the management of BK but then we decided against it cos our lives were at the MAG's mercy. We talked and whispered for awhile then I realised it was soon time for me to meet Hot Date (in Clar's words). As we walked around the pillar to leave BK, I saw another man at the next table counting 4D slips. He seemd to be a bookie. Me went "Clar! You saw that? I think it's the illegal corner of Orchard! O-M-G!" Clar left and I met Kah Heng for dinner. Treated him to Din Tai Feng since I promised. It was a nice dinner. I was full.

Tuesday

Ben and Jerry's!

With Clar's eyecandy and My Lover (I know you're gonna kill for this but I can't help it),

Hannah and Clar!! Even my sis thinks you're so sexy here. For the record, LP, Clar, my sis and me have this pic in our phones so who wants it I can send it to you. Hahahah.

Anyway back to Ben and Jerry's. I jumped the queue of stupid/smelly/ahlian/vuglar YJ people because they asked for it and besides Hannah pushed me forward. And I'm too lazy to waste my time to blog about them. I got the Choc Fudge Brownie flavoured ice cream :D Hannah got the Strawberry Cheesecake. Clar and Mui got their second repeat second scoop of Cookie Dough (I'm still sore about it)

On a separate note, Hannah is a sucha bimbo. I told her she was gonna meet my squirrel friend Mui Koon and later after we parted she texted me (please take note of the bold words) :
Your sqirrel friend is very funny. Jokes I mean Moo Chang.

Mui! You've got a new name!

So have you found the treat?

2007-04-13T16:48:00.000+08:00

Eyecandies (only some)!

You wanna know who I think should win America's Next Model?
I want her to win.

AJ! AJ! AJ! She is so HOT and cool at the same time. Like how can anyone possess two extreme opposite personalities? Well only she can and I like her.

Spoilers: But she didn't win (Yes, I know who won), let's just hope she remains as the last three or better still last two in the competition.

HAPPY WEDDING ANNIVERSARY, mum and dad!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

2007-04-10T16:49:00.000+08:00

Today's Abercrombie & Fitch Shopping

I want....

Patricia

I really really want this shorts!!

Casey Skinny

Courtney

Charlotte

It comes in NINETEEN colours okay.

Lisa

Heather

And my list can go on FOREVER.....

(Don't think I'm mad or something, they actually name their stuff. Girl names somemore. Cute right?)

Courtesy of http://www.abercrombie.com/

2007-04-10T00:08:00.000+08:00

WELCOME to the Balenciaga Motorcycle Bag Spreeeeeee

So meet Balenciaga Motorcycle Bag!

Clar and I finally learnt the art and beauty of online shopping (This might just be my part time leisure during my part time job. Horhor.) The funniest part is.... The most unthinkable/unexpected/unlikely person taught us how to do it. I won't say who that person is because her head would ONLY swell even further and it would only make her mouth grow bigger (because her face is essentially her mouth.Okay you should be able to imagine. Sorry _ _ _ /_ _ _ _) We are not stupid, we are just slow. Right Clar? Hahah.... so do you think the bag is nice? I kinda regret not ordering the red one, maybe I'll tell my mum this black one is for her and then I'll have a reason to get the red one. (like how I got two pairs of gisele sandals) Neh heheheh :)

Alright I'm gonna bed.

2007-04-04T23:31:00.000+08:00

Nobody wanna see us together
But it don't matter no
Cause I got you babe
Nobody wanna see us together
But it don't matter no
Cause I got you babe
Cause we gon' fight
Oh yes we gon' fight
Believe we gon' fight
We gon' fight
Fight for our right to love yeah
Nobody wanna see us together
But it don't matter no
Cause I got you

Sucha Aee-j song (although it is not meant to be read that way but I wanna take it as such.)
I like (:

"I need to find my shane soon.
I wanna see her soon." -anonymous

10 mins to tomorrow and I'm looking forward to the night.

2007-04-03T23:25:00.000+08:00

My ride home

Omg my cab driver is abit/quite/really/so entertaining. I just got home by the way (Time check: 12:03am Wednesday) and the cabby is so annoying, testing my patience, funny. He asked me where I wanna go.

Me: "Block _ _ _ but I don't know what street larh uncle. I forgot." -Frankly I wasn't thinking, too tired to think anyway. So many things on my mind, very little space to contain. Heh.

Cabby: " So is it Ang Mo Kio or Yio Chu Kang?"
Me: " I wanna go Yio Chu Kang, near AJ there."
Cabby: "So Ang Mo Kio or Yio Chu Kang? AJ is what?"
Me: "AJ is Anderson Junior College larh. Yio Chu Kang uncle"
Cabby: " So it's near Ang Mo Kio larh."
Me: "No. Yio Chu Kang. Near the MRT. Near Nayang Poly there."
Cabby: "So near Ang Mo Kio larh."

Oh my gawd! Kill me. No better still, kill him.

So I just went silent and stared out of the window. There was his random talks about how I wasn't the first to know the block but not the street and yada yada yada. So smart me, changed the subject 'cos he was boring me (The "Killing me softly" song rang in my head) and I was tired of pretending to giggle at his "jokes".

Me:" So uncle how long have you been a taxi driver?"
Cabby:"15 years."
Me: "Woah. So long?"
Cabby: "15 years part time but 2 years full time larh now after retiring. Staying at home. Boring larh."
Me:"Haha. Yeah."
Cabby: "Guess what I did before I became full time?"
Me: "What?"
Cabby:" Working MRT."
Me:" Huh? MRT?"
Cabby:" M for makan. R for rehat. T for tido! Eat, rest, sleep!"

Funny or what? I guess you figured his race by now.

2007-04-03T15:50:00.000+08:00

I say this is my song.
Listen to it and you'll know what I mean. Heh

I do not look forward to seeing people from my past. They rarely have kind things to say to me and I've always done something to deserve their disdain.

Part of me still loves. More of me doesn't.

2007-04-02T10:45:00.001+08:00

(her "acting camera shy" act. Fails miserably.)

Meet my crazy other half ALL the way from Australia,Perth.

She is dintzy,

bimbotic,

clueless,

retarded

(she attempted to bite my hand. Silly)

and she is in Singapore!!!(Her actual homeland).

Received her text late last night. Totally originally from HER. Uncut. Unedited. Uncensored. Just plain Hannah Wong. Notice all the bold stuff and see whether my description of her is accurate.

So to her text:
Deborah! Hannah Wong here I hav a Sg number! You better not of forgotten who i am!! Or i will chop u! Jks. (meaning JOKES like not "Just kidding" or "I'm kidding" but "Jokes") I was going to go to ur church today! But then i didnt. Hahaha. Went to some cemetry instead. Pfft. :l Dude we have to catch up!! Ok man cya

My Reply:
Omg so is this really the number you're using? Where are you staying now?

Her Reply:
Haha. I'm going to beijing 2moro. And im coming bac to sg in 2 weeks and staying for 1 week more. Im staying in topayo. So ill cyu in 2wks or something k?!

Omg when I first read that message I thought Topayo meant some new hotel I've never heard of. Then later when I was stoning in front of the TV, I realised that she meant TOA PAYOH instead. OMG I swear I could die laughing.

Well anyway, her last text really tickled me to bits.

Oh sic! Im here next next next friday. On the 20th. Omg! TEXT IS ONLY 5 CENTS! And I got 100 free! Yayayay. Hahaha. And omg i fell in a drain today! How rank (what kinda lingo is that????) is that!! And i got shit on my pants! I was depressed for like an hour! Sigh. Lol. Ok msg u when i get bac. Cya!

Did I mention her accent... is cute! Hahaha.

2007-03-30T17:23:00.000+08:00

Had lunch with colleagues again today but it was just me, Zul, Jasmine (the new colleague) and the other ladies. We had HAN'S and Zul bought me lunch. Heh. I'm so privileged to have such nice colleagues! Our lunch conversation revolved around Diving and it made me really wanna try diving some day soon. It sounds like great fun but I'm really scared of coming up close with sharks and stuff. It creeps me. Yikes!
Bruce thinks I look like Norah Jones. He's really convinced that I do. Sigh. Norah Jones is like the most most boring singer artiste I've ever known and this isn't the first time I've heard anyone saying that I look like her. Anyway, if you don't know how she looks like. Well, this is her....

Can someone please tell me in what way do I look like her? He thinks it's the eyes. Hahaha.

ATTENTION EVERYONE!
My cousin is in the Lingerie Fashion Show and I think she is hot. Like really HOT. Her body is like OMG. Model's name is Charmaine Harn. Go watch Channel 5! She got interviewed on the fashion exclusive advertisement. I'm not kidding.
This is a picture of her but...

Not her body, what a pity I can't actually show you how hott she is.

2007-03-27T00:07:00.000+08:00

Went for the monthly swimming coach meeting at Trellis Tower (which was supposedly compulsory) and guess what only a pathetic group of ten people turned up including the admin people(who were technically not coaches).
Anyway, this is the crux of my entry:
Guess who was there? I met my long-lost-crappy-slacker friend/partner-in-crime/gb mate(CARA!!). Like what a small world right? She is a coach too! Omg this is so funny, we weren't even listening to the meeting but rather doing our teeny tiny catching up behind our pieces of meeting agenda they gave us.
C:So you miss GB(Girl's Brigade) or not?
D:Like hell no!!! Hahaha... I miss Miss Kang arh. NOT
C:I still don't know how you got so high in post even being sucha slacker. Drill Instructor somemore!

I learnt that dear Cara works at Rafflesplace too. I thought my $7 per hour pay is damn good already BUT stupid her gets $7.50 per hour with no CPF being deducted and she was making a big deal out of it(which I thought was justifiable). Hmph. Anyway, I found myself another lunch partner!

On a separate note, I lunched with my colleagues again today and we ate at this Jap/Thai Restaurant (don't ask me why like that but I think it's because they have the same boss.Shrugs. Just like why you see KFC and Taco Bell under the same roof. I figure you get what I mean.) The Fried Chicken Ramen and choc dessert was FABULOUS and I didn't have to pay at all 'cos Bruce bought me lunch! Heh.

----------------------------------------

Now playing: Angela Ammon's Always Getting Over You
ATTENTION to Miss Hon. Hahaha

When It Doesn't Matter

I'm everything, you never wanted
Why does it mean so much to you
I'm walking away
Not begging you to please let me stay
You wanna take a picture
So you'll remember
Me standing by this open door
Does it make it better
If you tell yourself I never wanted to go

Should I say that we should still be friends
Should I cry or should I just pretend
That it's killing me, and I don't want you to leave
Should I make you think I suffer......when it doesn't matter

You try to figure out
Why I said nothing
When you told me that it's over now
What are you believing
That my smile is only here to hide the pain

I'm tired, of unhappy ever after endings
I'm tired, of make believe hero's
I'm tired, of taking back what I have given
And I'm tired, of waking up here

''I'm tired

2007-03-21T13:56:00.000+08:00

Received this on my office email from Bruce (my colleague) and I had to share it:

How NOT to be a millionaire!

NEW YORK - Idaho resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family Tuesday when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the popular TV show, "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire."

It seems that Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question, and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing, "the absolute worst use of lifelines ever."
After being introduced to the show's host Meredith Vieira, Evans assured her that she was ready to play, whereupon she was posed with an extremely easy $100 question.
The question was: "Which of the following is the largest?"
A) A Peanut
B) An Elephant
C) The Moon
D) Hey, who you calling large?

Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she realized that this was a question to which she did not readily know the answer.
"Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie," said Evans, as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief and disgust. "I mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of these things before, but I have no idea how large they would be."

Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50. Answers 'A' and 'D' were removed, leaving her to decide which was bigger, an elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly easy question, Evans still remained unsure.

"Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!" exclaimed Evans. "Darn. I think I better phone a friend."

Using the second of her two lifelines on the first question, Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friend Betsy, who is an office assistant.

"Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!" said Evans, wasting the first seven seconds of her call. "Ok, I got an important question. Which of the following is the largest? 'B', an elephant, or 'C', the moon. 15 seconds hun."

Betsy quickly replied that the answer was 'C', the moon. Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds.

"Come on Betsy, are you sure?" said Evans. "How sure are you? Puh, that can't be it."

To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend's advice and pick 'The Moon.'

"I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all that bright. So I think I'd like to ask the audience," said Evans.

Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor of answer 'C', 'The Moon.' (only 98%... that's pretty bad too...) Having used up all her lifelines, Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life... (I'd say it's her second dumbest choice... after agreeing to go on the show!?!?)

"Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking," said the too-stupid-to-live Evans.

"But you know, sometimes you just got to go with your gut. So, let's see. For which is larger, an elephant or the moon, I'm going to have to go with 'B', an elephant. Final answer." Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with baited breath, and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact, 'C', 'The Moon.'

Oh my gawd, like how stupid can one get? Can vomit blood arh if I were the host. Hahaha. But I'm glad there's someone out there who is stupider-er than me. grins

2007-03-19T12:09:00.000+08:00

Playing on my mind: Norwegian Recycling's HOW SIX SONGS COLLIDE.

Alright it's time I update:

Earlier last week, I received a text from Elisa. She wanted to lunch with me on Friday(it wasn't as if I didn't know what her intentions were but I pretended I didn't. So we were supposed to have lunch at Asian Kitchen (because I wanted to) but she wanted Thai Express since she had a craving for their fried rice and blah blah blah. But all the planning went down to just having lunch at the Food Fair instead. Not what I had in mind for a supposed birthday lunch treat but I guess it was the thought of spending that time with me; that was what mattered. To me, it was just a novelty since I had never been there before but to tell you the truth, I don't ever wanna go back there. You come out smelling like oil and food and everything else except yourself. Yikes!

So anyway, we ate alot alot of junk. Nice junk namely: Shark's Fin, Otah, Dim Sum and etc. (I can't remember) And then she brought me to one corner where she dug out from her bag...

(yes, I stole this picture from her blog)
The Strawberry Sweetheart!
And the Tiramisu which I thought would have tasted better if I had made it.
They were my birthday cake(s). Anyway, I was quite (actually really) upset when she made me light the candles but refused to sing me a birthday song. So I just stared at the cakes while they (the cake(s) and Elisa) stared back. Then I blew the candle out. But I didn't make a wish so she made me lit it up again. Stare and pause for a moment before blowing it out. I wonder why I even bother following whatever she told me to do.

After work, the three of us met up. I ranted to the two all that was bothering me (about what an asshole a certain freaking idiot is). I think Mui was really freaked out by me but I continued telling and linking one story to another until they were totally confused. Went to Clare's house for Steamboat!! It was so damn damn fun. Mui was acting shy with Clare's dad who actually played along. So silly. And after dinner, we gathered at Clare's room for girl talk because my bitching was really over. Not quite. So anyway, we decided to pose on her bed later. Presenting to you....

The two cucko birds and me!

Notice: 1) I stripped out of my clothes and they lying in front of Clare.

2) Mui is on the phone.

There were alot alot other pictures (including the picture of Clare's ass. Hor hor) we took with my phone but I admit I don't know how to upload them. Heh heh.

Saturday(17 March 2007)

Daddy brought my family and I to have my birthday dinner at Crystal Jade. We ate so so much until we were so so full. Dinner cost him close to 200, so can you tell me from that how much we actually ate? My favourite is still the lean meat and century egg congee. I know it's damn cheena-na but I like. So smooth when you swallow you know. The you tiao is still so so crispy and tasty although it is like sogged and drowning in the congee.

Anyway, I caught STOMP THE YARD. Damn damn nice and by the time I got home it was like Three O'clock Sunday morning.

And oh ya, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! Didn't wish myself larh. I'm nineteen... Gawd.. that's old.

2007-03-15T12:01:00.000+08:00

Omg I can't believe I spent close to 400 bucks over the time span of 3 hours last night. Vivo-ing was great fun and I'm happy with all that I've got. Yet as I sit here and think back on what I've bought I can't help but realise how selfish I am to splurge. Splurge on myself. Myself only. Sigh. I keep consoling myself saying my birthday is coming and I'm just getting myself a present but soon before I know it the one present became two and then three and then four and then... less than 20 bucks in my account now. Shits man. Impulsive shopping is bad. Real bad. I'm gonna repent.(but my pay is coming in tomorrow. Hahah)

I close my eyes and I take a deep breath and I think about my life and how I ended up this way. I think about the ruin, devastation and wreckage I have caused myself and to others. I think about self-hatred and self- loathing. I think about how and why and what happened and the thoughts come easily but the answers don't.

2007-03-12T15:56:00.000+08:00

11 March 2007 was so FUN!
Clare, sister and me went town to buy heels, well it was only Clare and I who got heels. Clare was sucha a darling or rather her mum was the darling because she had given her TANGS vouchers to dispose. AND the best part of it- the heels (they are brown) that I got only cost $3.90 while hers were literally free. Can you believe it?
Because I can't.
Then we went Vivo to watch movie which only cost us each $3. Funny hor? Clare had two free GV tickets which sarah had given her (because she found it while cleaning her closet). We were so lucky! So anyway, we watched The Pursuit of Happyness. It was a damn damn long movie but I didn't regret watching it because it was really quite heart-warming although abit long-winded. But Clare reminded that the process of the story was the main crux of it not so much the ending because usually the ending was meant to be happy. I swear if it wasn't a happy one I would have smacked the director dead; I mean you watch the movie for a whole 2 hours and 15 mins to find that the character fails-Stupid bloody waste of time.
After movie, we went shopping(!!) We went to Pull and Bear because I wanted my skinny jeans but they sadly didn't have my size :( And Clare and I tried on a skirt which was SO so so short, it could practically pass off as underwear.
Anyhow went by FOX to try on their skinny jeans but didn't buy because I wanted staff discount from sister's friend and anyway I want somebody to get it as my birthday present. Heh heh.
At the end of the day, we concluded that
1) We hated stuff from Forever 21
2) The irony about shopping: When you wanna get a certain something you look high, low, up and down also cannot find but when there isn't a need for that thing, you seem to see it everywhere.

P.S Clare got me a French Connection WALLET(as my early birthday present). It is brown. Glittery brown to be exact. (To be honest, it is not something Deborah would be found with but I'll use it nonetheless simply cos YOU got it for me) She meant to match it with my phone. I swear I'm becoming a brownie. Anyhow, thanks darling :) Loves!

2007-03-09T16:47:00.000+08:00

TODAY
I got an EARLY birthday present!
And the best part is.....I didn't even spend a single cent.

Isn't it pretty?
I think it's pretty and it matches my phone(!!) hohoho.
Italy made. And I learned that the warranty is internationally recognised (I didn't even know there existed such kinda gurantee) Anyway, cost my aunt a BOMB (which I won't reveal unless you ask me)but she insisted on buying (although I incessantly requested not to have it.) What else can I do then accept it right?
Just in case you were wondering it's a POLICE watch. Unique huh. David Beckham endorses this brand somemore. Okay that's enough selling of my watch!

Adios! It's weekends :D

2007-03-07T17:14:00.000+08:00

I've got a fetish for you.

But I guess you wouldn't know.

I'm breatheless.

2007-03-07T01:13:00.000+08:00

Lips touch,
Cheeks brush.

I'm left with one tablet and my itch isn't going down. No it isn't. ARGH!!!
Anyway, I almost died today. I mean my building shook but honestly, I didn't feel anything. Really. But we were made to evacuate the building anyhow. (Mind you I was on the 25th floor) Doesn't make sense to me because even if we did, we were surrounded by high high high buildings all all all around. Buildings shake, womble, wiggle and collapse, then it will still crumble over us right? Conclusion: I would have been dead anyway. But I still evacuated. Took the lift that was going up since the going down one was packed like sardine. Kaisu idiots. Called my mummy to say my last goodbyes which was like so silly (only Hon knew what I said. I was typing the whole damn day's happenings to her until my fingers hurt hurt hurt. And if you were wondering what I said I won't say. Too throw face :S) Messaged a couple of people and the only genuinely concerned person was my beloved MUI. I mean she didn't just replied, she actually called(!!!)
BRA!! Are you alive? Are you okay? Don't worry I'll fly down to save you. I promise. So you okay? You sure?
I trust that she's capable of that. hahah. Love you BF (: I hope your cramps are GONE!

Oh yes, calender boy aka Bruce dedicated a song to me before we evacuated the buidling. Guess what song it was. James Blunt's You're Beautiful. He actually played it on his com really loudly. Damn weird right? And I think he was screw-loose or something.. at the end of the WHOLE earthquake evacuation rubbish, he said this while we were getting into office " So the moral of the story is we should always cherish our loved ones."
Dots.

'One more day I think.
I can't count

2007-03-05T11:49:00.000+08:00

I know we can't go anywhere from here,
but for one last time let's go there.

I'm on Chlorpheniramine 4 MG tab- 12 tab, okay it is the scientific/medical term for THE cure for rashes and itch and runny nose(??). Yes, I've got rashes (well not exactly rashes but rashes look alike things which are actually bug bites) all over my legs. ALL thanks to some idiot who wanted to take a walk to botanic gardens and the brilliant idea of sitting at the pavillion to chat. Note: I was only in FBTS and slippers. Urgh! But I guess it was worth it, we had alot to catch up. Hur Hur. The itchy things appeared on thursday night after I got back from the tanning studio. OMG I think I haven't mentioned that I went for artificial tanning. Yes, I did and though I don't look much different (because it was only a ten minute session) I guess it is worth the experience. hahah. I was damn excited. Really. I'll upload the pictures another day. Me and my RED peepers( the eye protection thingy) plus a whole load of rubbish pictures we took. horhor. I was suppose to do my second session today but I figured the heat would be bad for my legs so I postponed the session till Thursday. Oh boy, I can't wait!!

I must say it's a really expensive hobby. But I like :)

2007-02-28T10:57:00.000+08:00

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

Yet another "feeling-lousy-wanna-sleep-it- away" day. Yesterday was bad, Today's worst.
Nothing happened but I feel lousy. I just want to sleep this feeling away but I can't. The visible dark eyerings tell alot. The jet black face provides the answers and though I try to hide I just can't.
I wanna walk on. I wanna run away. I wanna hide.
I wanna be left alone.

2007-02-26T11:29:00.000+08:00

The New LOVE of my life- Baby

My K800i cybershot Allure Brown.
She cost $298 but thankfully (or not) for lau pok Nokia 7260 (I didn't even know the model until the Singtel guy said it please) which fetched a pathetic $60 trade-in, so in the end I spent only $238 and I got HER. Although I wanted very much to get N73, I didn't. Since it was alot more expensive ($498) plus some disgusting person has already gotten it. Irrittating. So I concluded that it wasn't worth to spend that money anyway. Daddy was supposed to pay it for me (!!!) but he didn't, but since I've got the money why not splurge it on myself right? I'm gonna get a 1 GB memory stick for baby, which is gonna cost another $90 but nevermind I'll still pay.
I love baby because she is so pretty.

Anyway, I only slept at 4 this morning after watching SAW with daddy on cable StarMovies. I was screaming and screaming while he just sat there and laugh. What a freaking sadis right? OMG it was so damn sick, luckily I didn't watch it in the cinema, otherwise I wouldn't have made it home. Falling asleep was a torture. Real torture.

2007-02-23T17:05:00.000+08:00

We didn't watch Protege (though I very much wanted to) because I was late so it was ALL my fault. heh heh. Sorry :( Nonetheless, we still watched a movie but it was Just Follow Law instead. Wanted to watch Notes on a Scandal but it was alot alot later. Sigh. Watching Movie with her has it's benefits especially so when she uses her don't know what card to pay, we get discount(!!!) on a Friday night know. OKay deborah is a country pumpkim. Whatever.

Movie ended quite late. We got our coffee, she says hers looks nicer. I think so but I don't admit. Chilled awhile. Walked along the streets and talked. Alil. Ollie doesn't talk much but she smokes too much. Tsk Tsk.

I like her mutli-coloured shimmering glowing lighter/torch light.

It was midnight by the time we reached dhoby so she took another fag before we each took a cab and went home.

She looked shorter than I imagined her to be but who am I to talk about height right? Anyway, if you're wondering.. yes, she's taller than me. We found two guys who were shorter than us. Like WoW.
-----------------------------
Thank
God
It's
Friday

Time passed really fast today. I left office at 12 for Lunch and got back only at 3 (!!)
1) Had my Ben and Jerry's treat
2) Bought myself jeans and
3) Earrings from DIVA
4) Wandered around
and the funny thing I was the only one in the office when I got back, meaning I was early or rather the earliest...
Anyway, Bruce bought breakfast for me today. I was shocked frankly. Everyone in office were jealous because I had special treament. They kept asking why he bought for me only. His answer to that was "Because she is xiao mei what"
Put me in such an awkward position. TSK.

Movie tonight!
Yeah I'm finally watching Protege.

2007-02-22T14:13:00.000+08:00

JUST SO YOU KNOW
I thought of you

Wei Ling will be the death of me BUT if she tops her class AGAIN then I wouldn't mind going through ALL these studying. Just check out the number of topics I have to read up before Saturday 12:30 pm. I cross my fingers and hope that my recall memory's still functioning well so that I don't really need to mug so to say. Draining and dreary.

1)General Physics
2)Kinematics
3)Work Energy
4)Turning Effects
5)Pressure
6)Static Electricity
7)Current Electricity
8)Practical Electricity
9)Electromagnetic Spectrum
10)Light

Oh gawd someone just kill me :(

If I had known better; I shouldn't have asked her what are the topics being tested but then again it'll be quite stupid because otherwise why would she need tuition and what would I be tutoring her right?
Right.

I'm running circle in my head.
And it's all because of

2007-02-21T10:17:00.000+08:00

Do you know how to touch a girl?

I think I could like you.

2007-02-16T14:40:00.000+08:00

This is sweeter.

Dear honoured and distinguished guests,

Her Excellency, Queen Deborah, together with her family, requests your presence at their humble abode (205B Compassvale Lane #09-19) on the sacred 3rd day of Chinese New Year (20th Feb). Her Excellency is too busy to be the one sending out the email and bothering with such minor details, thus her humble servant shall make the arrangements on her behalf. Please confirm your attendance ASAP or your stomachs shall never taste The Empress Dowager's (Aunty Dawn's) glorious food.

Her humble servant,
Clare

When I read this email at work I swear I couldn't stop laughing to myself. Bruce, Uncle Gabriel and Zul plus Alice must think I'm mad but it's in pale comparison to the one who composed the email. Don't you think(?)

Waiting for

2007-02-15T16:17:00.000+08:00

This is sweet.

Oh deb bra!
Don't be sad la.
If I'm rich enough, I'd give you a sofa
or maybe even a car.

Clar's eyecandy attempted to write a poem for me. Spastic as ALL can tell but I guess it's the thought that counts, I mean it's afterall HER, the Crazy NUTcase mei jiun. (I don't even know if I got the spelling right but my pinyin sucks anyway so I'm forgiven.)

I broke my promise

2007-02-14T17:27:00.000+08:00

SPONGEBOB

I wonder who's behind that?

Spongebob is yellow.
Spongebob has skinny arms.
Spongebob is nice to me.
Spongebob is gonna draw me.
Spongebob is entertaining and I love to annoy her.
I love my Spongebob!!
Don't kill me for posting this :(

Happy Valentine's My Spongebob!! hahaha

2007-02-14T10:16:00.000+08:00

Miss SA girl
I hope you get me.

I miss nua-ing in class.

I miss Stanley my favourite.

I miss the shorties BUT I'm the tallest (!!!) bwahaha.
I miss best friend. She is so spastic.

I miss BB Cafe.

I miss pretending to be an Indian at BB... and being indians at the cafe

BUT who ever said I missed my class. I don't. I just miss the front row whites and blues.

I do miss my (clean) shoes.

I still do...

I miss OUR fruit platter.

I miss hiding under the table.

I miss lectures. NOT

(omg horrible dis-position)

I miss Miss Wong.

I miss waffles and ice cream/ butter and syrup at BB's.
I miss my eye candy.

I miss so many so many so many things...

But I still miss you the most.

Happy Valentine's :)

We couldn't wait till the end.

2007-02-13T10:40:00.000+08:00

I can't explain this feeling
I think about it everyday
And even though we moved on
It gets so hard to walk away

I missed Victoria's Secret (!!)

Yesterday, I was happy but not very very happy, just happy enough to put on a smile.
Today, I feel sick, nauseaous and tired. My eyes are swollen and red.
Drained. I feel extremely drained.
I guess my period is getting the better of me and probably the main cause of how and what I'm feeling and hopefully nothing else.
My face is throbbing to the rhythm of my heart, the rhythm of my heart is not as strong or as steady as it was. It is speeding up and slowing down, beating with irregular strength, sending sharp messages through my arm. It held when it needed to hold, but it's not going to hold much longer.

I'm not going to hold much longer.

2007-02-12T12:27:00.000+08:00

Let me share with you people what I did at work today (other than pretending to send out and printing emails and doing placement slips and yadayada blah blah blah.) I was on the search for unglam and spas pictures of me because according to auntie H-ON, she needs a picture with me having a funny expression so that she can draw me easily.
Note: HON is a good artist. I've seen her work and they're fabulous :)
Okay anyways, so I went to search on Elisa's blog because I knew she has pictures of me(like d-uh. haha) To tell you the truth, from the time we were together to the time we broke up and until NOW (it's been like one and half years plus?? okay whatever.) I've never once went to check out her photo gallery so today was my first! They were damn entertaining. Every single one relieved my memories of our past- bitter/sweet/sour/salty/......
This is my favourite one, I remember that day we were fooling around with her camera in the mrt train and I was teaching her how to smile.... and this was how she smiled -__-

But what I loved most was the caption which read

teaching me to smile lika model"only top teeth are visible..." but i look like a horse.. ):
Added by Elisa L. on Mar 12, 2006

I wanna date you soon but I know I've to wait till AFTER Chinese New Year. ROFL

I don't care what people will say,

I'm running after you.

Don't matter what may come my way.

2007-02-09T14:54:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I bought dinner for mummy and tiffy (Shawn and daddy were going for some wedding dinner.Haha too bad they couldn't enjoy the yummy food I bought.) My mum was busy baking her chinese new year cookies and I thought it was nice to buy her dinner afterall she was in fact- busy.
Anyways, I took a train down to Lavender to get their dinner. Bought it from a famous western stall (Happy Chef - the name is cute, the logo is even cutier) at Crawford Court. It was a long walk there and a even further walk back mainly because I wanted to get to the NEL (Boon Keng station) but I think it was worth it. I saw my mum beam and my sister smile. It was the least I could do and I was glad we enjoyed our dinner in front of the TV.
So dinner menu was:
Chicken Kiev
Fish Schritzel
Pork Ribs

Sounds nice right? They taste as good as they sound. Too bad I could only find pictures of the

Chicken kiev

Fish Schritzel

The pork ribs were the best and my favourite!
Mum comments: Hmmm.. This is good! The ribs are even better than Country Mana's.
P.S: My mum wants me to buy them again as a side dish for dinner tonight. She wants to celebrate my sister's good results! Haha. My obsession is contagious even my mum is crazy about eating from there.

For the record I had lunch at the same place with my colleagues. I had Chicken Schritzel. I was so full and stuffed, I swear I could explode.

No matter how far I go
My heart still remains with you

2007-02-08T16:54:00.000+08:00

Deborah and Olivia were so bored at work and to kill their boredom there wasn't meebo, there wasn't Ebuddy and worst of all there was NO msn messenger in deborah's office, so they chatted through deborah's tag board. How intelligent right? hahaha it saved them on their sms-es (!!) (sucha plus point *winks.)
Note: Take a look THERE------>

Hello olllie HON (I like your surname heh heh), I want my bailey's and Zippo soon please! Thank yoooooou :)

The truth of my existence will be removed and replaced with imagined good.
I don't deserve.

2007-02-07T14:30:00.000+08:00

This is not the life I want or who I want to be but I don't know anything else. I have tried to change before and I have failed. I have tried to change again and again and again and I have failed over and over and over. If there was something to make me think this time was different, I would try, but there isn't. If there was a light at the end of the tunnel, I would run to it. I am worse than I have ever been before. If there was a light at the end of the tunnel, I would run to it.

You already know,
I wanna love you.

You already know,
girl.

2007-02-06T17:20:00.000+08:00

Stolen from Weiling's blog:

"Good news first or bad news?
Bad news: Only 11 people in the class passed Phys class test.
Good news: I topped the class.
HAHAHAHA DEBORAH'S TUITION MUST BE REALLY GOOD! Now, does anyone want her number?"

OMG. I didn't know I was that good. Seriously.

2007-02-02T10:00:00.000+08:00

Yesterday:
Met the two (female) cucko birds for dinner and did mini-shopping (because someone needed to get someone else a present) We didn't even get ANYTHING.

After work, I called Clare.
:Hello Clar... where are we meeting? Where are you now? Is Mui with you already?
Clare: Erm... we're at Starbucks.. we meet at Marina Square larh... ohhohh... Mui msged to say she can't come, her mum didn't allow her.
(I was alil sad, it's not that I wasnt looking forward to see clare but it's always me and her date, without Mui/Pei. I was looking forward to see Mui!)

: HUh? Why like that? Who's the us? (thinks it's Clar and someone)
(Ignores my question)Clare: Haiyer you just meet me at Marina Square.
:Don't want. I don't know how to get there. Surely get lost one lor. (the fact was I didn't want to walk THERE all by myself)
Clare: Then where you wanna meet?
:NUM at citylink there.
Clare: Okay! See you!

Up the escalator, turns left, walks towards the steps and spots Clare only.

Looks at the floor because Mui was not there :(
Clare sticks her head out and waves.

I continue to sulk (head down)..

Clare: Oei.. Why so sad? Let's go into this shop first. ("stupid things sporting kimono prints on them" shop. I swear they're fulgy,like what would Clare wanna see there)
(follows her in anyway, turns my head and saw an AJ uniform-ed girl. I wonder who huh. pft)

Deborah beams :D
Clare: Woah! You mean I have such little importance in your life arh?
Deborah ignores her.
:You lied to me! I feel so cheated! You two idiots lied to me!

Went to DIVA and Clare treated us to our (first and hopefullly not the last) threesome ring! HAHA.. I think it's cause she felt bad for lying to me. Hahaha.

P.S I have it on now. Better have yours on when I see you later.

Ate at Ichiban Boshi. Ate well and was damn full. Wanted to treat them to drinks/Yami yoghurt/Ben and Jerry's BUT Mui was already bursting her AJ skirt.HAHA
I had a lovely day!

Note: I don't have a typo when it reads "Clar" because I know she hates it when we call her that. heh heh :p

Dear Mui Mui my love!

Today's Cross country, run your best okay? Think of me when you're running and I'm sure you'll finish the 3.5 km effortlessly. Hahah. Treat you to your Soya Bean Ice Cream when you decide to meet me at Compass :)) Cheer up!

However much I hid it,
however guardedly I kept it.

2007-01-31T14:08:00.000+08:00

Dreams are queer. Some say they represent what and how you're feeling. Yet sometimes I think they're actually foreboding something. Exactly what..

I don't know.
You tell me.

She walks towards me and puts her arms around me and she hugs me.
We're two people who have just been through a terrible ordeal together.
Although it was worse for me, I know it wasn't easy for her.
This hug is our bond, our bond to learn from what we have just been through and become better and stronger because of it.
I know she will keep the bond, I don't know if I can.
I pull away.

Each step is more difficult than the last, each step hurts more.

2007-01-30T16:16:00.000+08:00

HAHA... Today, I learnt something about the person who used to sit in the cubicle that is currently mine.

P.S Alice is still on leave. Her daughter is in hospital and on drip. I shall be nice to her. Poor thing. I was STILL given work. Gabriel kept me busy with printing his emails and filing them...

Okay, abit of background info: Gabriel sits in the front of me, on my diagonal left is Steve Britten (rather unfriendly guy but I suppose Ang Mohs are Ang Mohs), on my left is Bruce, Alice sits behind me and Zul sits on her left.

Right. I was staring at the com as I usually do then suddenly Bruce reaches for the calenders that are on the partition that separates our cubicles and laughs.

Bruce: You know the story behind these calenders?
(mind you there were like three of them lining the partition like why the hell would anyone need THREE freaking calenders of the same year right?)
: Nope..Why?
(background Zul laughs uncontrollably)
(Bruce hesitates)
Bruce: Better not say... later you tell your aunt..
:My aunt doesn't work here..
Bruce: Then who is Theresa to you?
:My friend's godma's sister?
Bruce: OhOh...
Zul: He used them to block the girl's face
:You mean the girl who used to sit here?
(Zul nods. Still laughing)
Bruce: A bimbo used to sit there lah... I swear she's some bimbo not say she's pretty or what .. but she had mirrors like ALL around her table and she kept looking at her reflection. OMG... I tell you it was damn irritating.. I couldn't stand it at all....
(Bruce reaches to remove ALL the calenders)
Zul: She's really damn irritating.. You cannot talk to her without getting irritated.. She sings you know... like SUDDENLY...while you're talking to her, she can just start humming... like LALALA or HMMhmmmhmmm... haiyer like what the hell right?
Bruce: You damn good arh... start gossiping already..tsktsk... Anymore anymore??
Zul: Since you let the cat out of the bag right? ... Let her know EVERYTHING lah..
:ahaha.... so how old is she?
Bruce: Fresh grad lah... Thank goodness you're not like that.. Better don't learn from THAT kinda people.. So SO sO So irritating...
Zul: (points to Bruce) At least you see him smiling nowadays... last time, his face is black like charcoal arh...
Bruce: I'm very nice one.. but she just gets on my nerves..tsktsk better don't be like that..
(Zul starts singing in the background)
Bruce snaps: Argh... You better stop arh...

Omg.

Always, always it came down to the same thing.
You.

2007-01-29T17:19:00.000+08:00

We were THIS bored. Zul decided to test her cam. Bruce took a pic of her and......
This is her and her crossed eyed expression. HARHAR.... they're undergoing their second childhood i reckon.....

2007-01-29T11:58:00.000+08:00

Work is damn blissful today maybe because the lady in charge of me (Alice) is on an urgent leave. I was sniggering in my heart when Zul told me that. hahaha so officially work ended the moment I stepped into office!
Last Friday, she assigned me to rearrange a file, do a signing slip and a cover note for it. I rearranged the file then I noticed there was already a cover note so.. I asked Zul.

: Zul.. there's already a cover note. Alice told me to do a cover note but there is one here already..
Zul: Sorry? Maybe she wants you to do the cover note for this year?? Bruce! HELP!
(Bruce enters the scene. I showed him the file. He crosses over to my side- my cubicle.)
(Bruce flips the papers. I waited ad waited and stoned.)
Bruce: Don't you have anything else to do?
:Nope.
Bruce: So.. What did you do in Australia?
: Visited my relatives for THIRTY SEVEN days.....
Bruce: Woah.. Which part of Australia? Sydney?
:hahaha.. I wish arh.. It was quite boring..
Bruce: You could have taken a domestic flight around what?
: OH yeah.. but my parents didnt want to
(He clearly doesn't know what to assign me to do, hence the casual chat.)
(AFTER 5 mins...)
Bruce: I think you just update these following changes can already larh..

So changes it was. I did them in like 3 minutes?? Printed. Filed. And back to nothing to do AGAIN.

It was true, I suppose, what was said- that I didn't understand.
I didn't understand Her.

2007-01-26T15:21:00.000+08:00

Okay FINALLY a breather oh alright NOT exactly. It's just that I've got nothing to do (since my in-charge hasn't assigned me anything/ she's gone to a meeting and I'm just too lazy to ask, afterall she's busy and I don't wanna disturb her. heh heh excuses)
Rightt. I started work on MONDAY at AON RE WORLDWIDE, Rafflesplace [Singapore Land Tower] (clare's godma's sister needed a temp clerk/admin staff, I was free so I got hired. But seriously I think they really don't need me.) I think it's not too bad. I get paid 7 bucks per hour and working hours are like 8.30am to 5.30pm? Easy Peasy. ahaha. I don't really need to do much. Just filing, typing endorsements, closing and replacement slips and checking if the overseas companies have agreed on the layers and blah blah etc. Okay these were ALL foreign to me too. I never knew what I was doing till like yesterday, I found out that the company is dealing with interest breaking (??) so the employees are like interest brokers or breakers. Haiyer whatever. It finally made sense to me YESTERDAY. Please tell me I'm not slow. har har.
Random: I swear everytime I take the lift, my ears get blocked and they feel like they're about to explode the exact feeling I get when I take the aeroplane. Okay this is so totally irrelevant BUT I just had to say, I mean it's amazingly queer since I take the lift up and down to get to my house but I don't get this feeling what. Maybe be it's the increase in altitude. arhhhhhhhh....

Every Wednesday, I give swimmming lessons to THREE adult women aged 26, 33 and 42. OMG I think they were put into my life to test my patience. Like seriously. They ask questions like "Why I can't float arh?" or "When I swim why is it that I'm not parallel to the floor?" and the worst part they call me "'Donica". Harhar so funny. How does DEBORAH sound anything close to Donica. Poks. TSK. I shan't mention the race though.. Weekends still got kids to coach. I'm so looking forward to that! They beat adults mann.. Cute and adorable.

Tuition with Weiling tmr.
Topics I need to read up tongiht:
1) Static Electricity
2)Current Electricity
3)DC circuits
Gawd. ahaha BUT tutoring her is funn. We gossip seriously and I teach her seriously too!

:) dinner date with you tonight. ohlalalala....

Iclose my eyes and I take a deep breath and I think about my life and how I ended up this way. I think about the ruin, devastation and wreackage I have caused to myself and to others. I think about self-hatred and self-loathing. I think about how and why and what happened and the thoughts come easy but the answers don't.

2007-01-21T23:17:00.000+08:00

Dear dearest,
Part of me wants to encourage you and tell you it's okay (just as long as you're happy.) But I can't. I can't bring myself to saying that. I can't watch myself let you walk down the path I once did, knowing well enough the pain involved and the possible repercussions that entail. Some say I'm the one who can best relate to you cos I'm more convincing. I guess it's not a matter of how well I might bring my point across. You've to make your step away. Away from what you know is wrong. Dear you gotta learn to love yourself more, that way i suppose everything else would fall into place. (Don't go for the second best you deserve better) We're all here for you. We love you too much to watch you like that. Be strong and firm. This is so much we can do, ultimately the rest is up to you- you're the one who can make the difference.

P.S I'm not perfect. I probably might not heed the advice I'm giving you if I were in your position. But I'm just hoping somewhere somehow along the way you might sense the wrong and undo it. It's not too late. And I suppose all of us share the same sentiments.

Love,
BRA

2006-11-12T08:53:00.000+08:00

Now playing in my mind : Caught Fire (In your eyes)

Gosh! I can't wait for this dreary week to past. Actually I just can't wait for friday to come just cos it officially marks THE end of my nightmares. Right(?) Rightt. Gee... I'm suppose to be mugging my PHYSICS plus CHEM now. God it's boring. Blea. Anyway, I came up with the list of things I intend to do during the LAST four miserable days I'm gonna spend in Singapore before I fly off. 21November is the day I fly off to Australia and don't come back till like 38 days later(27December), I'll spending Christmas with my angmoh relatives, not that I have anything against that but I 'll miss you guys back in Singapore. Sobs. Foreign Land Foreign People and WORST off god knows what kinda presents I'll get :( Well at least I've got Clare whose making her visit during my stay there, it might just be funn. HA. Okay, back to the plans for THE four days.

Friday(17 November)
Chem Paper 1 ends at 3:30.
Make my way down to the Salon.
Get my hair trim/cut/wash/blow/dry/coloured (or rather) streaked with three different shades of brown. I'll probably have a strand of blonde.Haha. It'll be cool.(My mama is so nice, she actually called the day before yesterday to make my appointment. Ain't I a celebrity(?) Well at least Clare Tsk at it.lalalala. And the best part of ALL these I'm gonna do it for free!!! while my mum says she'll go by to pay for it three days later when she goes to do hers. Haha. I love my mum. muacks
Then off to meet the trio for dinner(it'll be OUR lady's nigt out after eons.GEEz) Peipei still owes US our Marche treat, I didn't forget(!!!)
Probably watching 'Step-up' if time permits.
Stayover has been cancelled. sighh.

Saturday(18 November)
Violet's dying to date me.Muahhaha. Cos she says she'll miss me and my nonsense for a whole 38 days and she better book me before I'm all taken. She's damn cute called me just to ask when is the departure time and day just so she and melon can send me off. How sweet I feel honoured. wosh! I dont even know what's she planned to do. I LOVE the boxers dearie!

Sunday(19 November)
Spending my time with The Penguins (that's what Clare calls us and I wonder for whatever reason) Haha.... Hmm alright we rescheduled our movie watching to Sunday just in case Friday doesn't have time. Apparently I'm the cause of it but I'm actually providing us more time to spend together right? Anyway, I doubt we'll watch our movie in peace just like how "The Lake" which was supposedly a love story turned out becoming a comedy, all thanks to Mui.

Monday(20 November)
Spending time with You. Problem is You haven't told me where and what we're doing(!!!) Hahaha . I love surprises anyway, and I just hope it'll the best plan You can ever come with :) excited!

Tuesday (21 November)
Daym. It's THE Day. sigh. Flight is at 8! God that just means I've to wake up like 5(??) Urgh! Well I can at least seek comfort in the fact that You, Violet, Melon and M are gonna send me off :D. I wonder if I'll cry let's see. hmmm. I just hope my mum doesn't see You.*prays hard
(OMG in my midst planning I actually forgot to mention packing. hahah I guess I'll just dump my whole wardrobe into my luggage. sigh I can imagine how boring it's gonna be, so NOT looking forward to it. Period.

22November to 27 December-Off to Australia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-11-10T11:42:00.000+08:00

So far i count myself really screwed for the A's. I mean look at it this way, firstly, I had no idea what I was writing for my GP essay much less the freaking AQ. AQ used to be THE one and only thing I scored at. But frankly, on that faithfully day of the paper, I just had to lose it. Daym.
Maths was disastrous. Almost every single question came to a deadend. I actually couldn't do 49 marks worth of questions. Tell me how am I gonna get the A that i want :(
Sigh then it came to Chem, honestly I have no idea how to evaluate it. The only thing I knew was I tried best. Well, it's THE only consolation I'm giving myself. Besides what's done is done. Urgh!

Solution:
Velvety and I have decided that we are gonna retake our A's next year as private candies(!!). I don't know whether to feel grateful for the second chance but the fact that I am trying it again just goes to show I have actually left myself, my parents and You down. I made You a promise to focus and I didn't break it just that some things are not going the way I intended them to be. But I guess there's no harm to that, it's never too late to correct what you've done wrong. I did a mistake to slack like shit in J1 and I'm reaping the consequences of my actions now. I may have studied really hard for THIS but i guess it was a wee bit too late. Besides I don't want to enter the Uni with mediocre grades. I wanna get those A's cos I know I have the capability but now it seems so unattainable.(physically and mentally impossilbe although I know Impossile is nothing) Retaking the A's leaves me with a WHOLE year to leisurely study the entire A level syllabus with much ease since I did it once already. Sigh but I'm crossing my fingers, toes and heart hoping against all odds that some miracle might happen. ( Hopefully the plane carrying our papers gets hijacked and the papers go missing*hehehe) boooooooooboooooo but that's never the case.

"Had a bad day
Don't talk to me
Gonna write this out.
My lil black heart breaks apart with your big mouth
I am sick
My sickness,
Don't touch me you'll get this
I am useless lazy perverted
You hate me
You can't save me
While I wait for my wake up call and everything
Everything is my fault"

2006-11-03T03:30:00.000+08:00

Sinking myself in bed, my mind didn't hesitate to recall the events of that day. GP was a major screw-up for starters and secondly my health isn't doing me good(maybe it was all self inflicted I don't know.Frankly i didn't care.What good is my body afterall?) I guess life isn't going the way it should. I feel shitted. Yes shitted is the word.

2006-10-02T12:14:00.000+08:00

Today, I went to school for like only one hour (physics!) then my stupid-nua partner and I decided to check if the side gate was open. We spyed from the third floor then we realised the second floor might have been better. While walking the stairs we noticed a J1 walking towards the gate(!!).

:"OMG!"(peeks)
:"Bra! The gate's open! Let's zhao!
:"HAHA! okay! HURRY!"
(looks around , no one)

Soon , we found ourselves at the bus stop. Phew. Haha, it seems as if we were running out of prison. -_-
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At __'s house, was checking mail and slacking and watching TV and .....etc. Hmm... anyway, i got this mysterious email from some CAROLINE and she asked me to add her on msn. So i added her and this was our convesation. Boring. Damn boring. I suspect she just wanted a partner to satisfy her. Gross. I thought only guys were like that. BUT I was so WRONG.

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: hihi

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: hello

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: caroline here

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: ure fr fridae rite?

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: yeah

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: ok

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: gt pic??

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: now?

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: for what?

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: see lor

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: im not at my com and fridae got what

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: u at wrk nw?
deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: NO

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: i pon sch

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: where u nw?
deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: at my friend's house

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: oh okie..

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: wads ur nick?

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: huh?

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: dont understand

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: wads ur nick in fridae

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: ilovebra la

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: oh ok..

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: wad sch u fr?

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: sajc

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: oh okie..

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: blue skirt with white top

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: haha

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: yeah lor

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: skirt surely damn short rite?

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: hmm. it's relatively, to me it isnt

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says:haha

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: haah hw short ur skirt?

(I could tell she was sorta ABnormal from here. Her constant obsession about skirts was boring to bits.Like can't you make more sensible conversation. Diao pok. Argh! I had to play along. Being nice. Ha)

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: half of my thigh or alil more

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: oh okie..

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: surely gt wear shorts inside rite?

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: yeah like duh

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: haha

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: you working ?

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: singapore?

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: yup

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: u

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: in sg lor

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: like duh

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: oh

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: how i know right

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: haha

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: ok..

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: i use to tighten + shorten my skirt

(Like i want to know. NOT interested lor. Stupid time waster)

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: huh? you were from SA

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: tpjc

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: oh

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: your uni not nice one

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: you went uni

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: ?

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: nope..

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: pte sch lor

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: oh

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: yup

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: i don wear shorts under my skirt de

(Told you she was obsessed about you know what. She's trying to lead me to something but i just couldn't stand it. It was really grossing me. Blea.)

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: oh

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: why is the conversation revolving around skirts -_-

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: keke..

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: aiyo girls mah..of cos skirts lor

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: oh okay

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: so u attached

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: no

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: u

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: nope

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: broke up already

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: icic..

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: i also broke up and single nw

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: u att to guy or gal

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: ?

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: to a girl duh

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: ok..

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: do u mast?

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: nope

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: u do i bet.

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: yup

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: hw com u don?

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: are you sure you are girl

(I just had to ask. The thought was just freaking me and not that girls can't ... but whatever she does by herself doesn't matter me much less if i cared)

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: yup i am

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: wanna call me??

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: no

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: i rather talk to myself

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: were you ever attached?

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: yup 2 ex

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: u

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: go find them then

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: what's ur label?

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: pl

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: u

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: im p

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: no wonder

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: tsk

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: y??

When the going gets TOUGH the TOUGH gets going says: gt a prob with pl?

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: no i dont

deⓑoⓡⓐh. tears and rain. says: but i ll never be one

Learnt nothing. Benefitted nothing. It was pure waste of lucrative time
-_-''

2006-09-25T13:24:00.000+08:00

It happens everytime you're giving the sign.We start to get it onbut then you stop me

Randomness: I WANT JONATHAN TO WIN idol!!!!!!!!!!!! He is SO SO suave! VOTE PEOPLE vote! It is no waste........

2006-09-22T10:08:00.000+08:00

OMG finally a chance to update and everytime i get to do it is when.... well when I PON school. HA.
Ponning school is probably the norm ever since you get into a college. Going to school has no more meaning. It is just dreadful. Stoning and even more stoning. Haiyah whatever. I just hate school. I just can't wait for Sunday when I can finally see my darlings. Sorry I've neglected you people.
MISSED YOU TO BEATS :(

2006-08-16T10:05:00.000+08:00

Having the day from HELL.
It wasn't going so well.

No matter how hard i TRY not to hate you.
Things that you do just makes it even harder.

Tell me what do you do when it all falls apart. Gotta pick myself up.
Where do i start cos i can't turn to you when it all falls apart.
Can it be easier?
Can I just change my life cos it seems to go bad all the time.

"Love wasn't supposed to hurt this way but it did and she wanted none of it."

2006-07-27T09:37:00.000+08:00

Hi bRa. dis is TVV..regarding ur SGC which ur having problems writing:)..here is a sample tt i wrote for u:) be sure to use it when u go for job interviews:) u will surely find it a great help .
Here's it: :)

Deborah is a very pretty gal ;) her looks will take her far :) U'll find her smile a joy..maybe it'll be even better when she acts cute..LIKE ME :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)smile more girl:)

your everdearest...tvv:)

NOTE: DISCLAIMER
TVV refers to e acronym for bra's everdearest mate..the velvety violet

2006-07-20T09:46:00.000+08:00

Sitting here staring at the wall,
another lonely tear falls.
I pretend you're thinking of me like how I am

Sometimes I try to understand the world around me, but i fail.Everything around me puzzles me.The world is a miracle; but life is absurd.When people define concepts very clearly, I am taken aback. Is something wrong with me or them?

As a child things were not so different. I did not understand the world, bit his lack of understanding was compensated by the presence of faith.I accepted explanations at their face value.I f someone told me that the earth is round, I accepted it no matter how strongly our sense perceptions contradicted it .When fairy tales were narrated with lots of miracles thrown in, I swallowed them with eyes wide open.
The simple faith of childhood, alas, is no longer available to me.Now different and bigger problems puzzle me.And I can find no answers.

2006-07-17T00:35:00.000+08:00

Staring out at the rain with a heavy heart
It's the end of the world in my mind
What's life?
What's the use when you're killing inside.

Church was horrid.
Sleeping during sermon.
Eating kINDER BURNEO while half telling Clare about my screwed-up life.
But mostly sleeping.

My face was as black as the gloomy sky
:"Woah.. Why your face look like you wanna kill someone?!?"

As much as I tired my best to put on a front, the ugliness from within was spilling out. Spilling out slowly but surely.

Lunch was horrid or even worst.
Was in no mood in having the usual family lunch much less entertaining Owen and his bro. Though his bro was nice (in holding the door for me and waiting till everyone had passed before he entered the restaurant. Nice? yess), Owen on the other hand, was clearly stepping on the very last of my nerves. Familiarity breeds contempt.
:"Bee(debbie).. Your fish."
*ignores.
Sis takes the fish, puts it on my plate.
The table was filled with laughter and chatter. I chose to sit in my corner. To sulk. To reflect. To show them i hated them.

Some things just can't be forgiven THIS easily especially forgiven by me. I don't let things go so easily. Never.
Adults seem to think we are capable to forgive and forget just about everything and anything.
If the circumstances were different, maybe it could have been possible. BUT this was different.
To start with you had be guilty for hitting me in the lip. Because firstly, I didn't really deserve it, considering the fact that it was simply over not washing the rice well but clearly I did wash the rice properly. Petty? Duh-errr!
Secondly, I had to lie to the girls that I got myself hit during PE when in actual fact PE never existed in my timetable.
I did that because I didn't want you to look bad. You were never bad since I knew very well that all you do is because you cared for me and you meant well but there's a limit to how much you should protect and shield me.
Now is the time for you to let me go but it has always been too early for you.
We were never a dysfunctional family. It's only cos of your overly-protective nature which has bridged this gap between us and because of that you have officially destroyed my life. My privacy was never taken into consideration. And I've realised that there's no point in talking to you about it either cos your ears were never open or you never had the intentions to hear me out.
How am I ever gonna forgive you or respect you for that matter? You have never respected me in the first place. It works both ways.

Start of cold war: 6 July 2006
End: indefinite

I hope you know that I hate you so and that you have made me THIS miserable.

2006-07-14T21:06:00.000+08:00

13July
I woke up with a sore throat or I slept with a sore throat, whichever way my sore throat is still there and it hurts. The day started off gloomy ans depressing. I was practically nua-ing my way around school and what made it worst was Violet wasn't in school(she ponned obviously) and so I was left to nua by myself. Maddy was so lukewarm towards me and it felt like everything was working against me- my results, my friends and definitely my mood. My body was there but my heart and soul was in different realm. Something in me told me that today was gonna be mean like it was foreboding something. Something like an omen.

But fortunately enough, I made a lunch date with E and E took all that glum away. (for the meantime at least)
Ate ice monster.
Fooled around in Cold storage, picking and choosing the nicest wrapper of gummies. Note: nicest wrapper NOT gummy. Haha
Told me not to eat chocolates from Cold Storage because the cows used to produce the milk had mad cow diease. Mind you she said it in the MOST serious manner which probably is what made it so comical. Haha
Made fun of/ laughed at the Cold storage cashier girl who had frumbly socks with lacey top and the black shoes that were so tightly velcro-ed.
Haha frankly, time spent with you is fun. Great fun though nothing much was done but the little it was it cheered me up :)
Bottomline is: I missed you.
Know girl, you probably don't know how am i doing or anything detailed about me since we had become akin to strangers but you really made me smile more than i ever could in months. And yesterday sorta reminded me of the times we had spent (2 years plus 3) together. It'll be 29 July in 15 days meaning a year since we have broken up. You'll never be forgotten but ever so-cherished as my dearest monkay. Trust me when i promise you this. I guess there is no point in reminicsing because you'll never come back to me after how i had been so mean to you and all. But I hope you'll remember the promise you made to me on that tennis ball you gave me. I don't know about you but I have held on to those words for as long as i could remember and closest to my heart. Perhaps it is because the times we spent together were irreplaceable and forever etching a place in the deepest portion of my heart.

Right. I thought the day had turned out to be blissful once more but boy was i wrong. The fucking SHIT day was just about to begin. Firstly, to start with some idiot with the no 938_ _ _ _ _ apparently messaged my mum and told her to watch over her daughters well. Like who the hell is that?!? What do you have to do with me?? None of your freaking business asshole!! So anyway, when i got home, my mother asked to check my bag and well she found my sticks. Okay if there wasn't bad enough, she had to check my phone. Like hello?!? Privacy?!? She never ever learned the meaning to that word actually. So fine, she found C's messages. I mean is she stupid or what? Doesn't she realise that her daughter is different and she needs her space and watching over her like a hawk is never gonna mend their relationship. I can forgive you for the THAT BLOW you gave me on the lip (since it had been countless times already) But calling C up and ranting at her was so UN-CALLED for and my last straw.
You make me so miserable. Life's a curse with misery (misery=you) so why live it? But then again I realised you were not worth dwelling my sorrow on.
Like excuse me?!? Scold me, punch me, hit me, kill me. Do whatever you wish to me but don't ever bring C into the picture. She's innocent. She probably hates me to the core now and perhaps nothing I do is gonna amend the situation. Calling her up and warning her never to message me again and sorta implicating her for my bad results. (???) Makes no fucking sense. It is NOT her fault!!!!!!!!
Well, that idiot has gotta be blamed actually. Life was a bliss till YOU fucking came along and I'm hope you're glad that you have spoilt something or rather EVERYTHING.
ARGH..Nothing I say or do will ever make it clear to her so I'd rather live in a world of my own and leave her otu of my life. If you leave me alone and STOP screwing my life over and over again. Maybe then will I see that your intentions of caring for me is actually genuine. You gotta let me go.

14 July
Miss TVV wanted to see me personally and I thought to myself: oh Crap, Guess my mother had probably spoken to her about my problem(s) and all. So I was anticipating the worst-an hour long lecture(?)

The conversation:
Miss TVV: DEBORAH, I've got good news for you!(smiles)
(frowns) In my head, HUh??? Good news? What the shit? Don't tell me she wanted to say thank you for making the Service-Learning a success??? Haha. What the heck?
Deb: Hmm.. miss tan.. what is it??
Miss TVV: DEBORAH.. just to let you know you did really well for your SPA exam (chem). When I was marking, I was like 'WOW... very good... VERY VERY good. WOAH.. EXCELLENT!!' So I say my dear girl, take heart! You can do it! It's a matter of not giving up. I believe you've got the capacity to do it. Just try your best!
(shocked)Deb: oh ermm..thank you miss tan, I appreaciate it. But my chemistry grades are dipping terribly.Miss TVV: Hmm... What are the problems you are facing? I realised you look troubled these few days. You're a pretty girl DEBORAH. You should smile more.
(smiles sheepishly)Deb: urmmm..okay thanks miss tan. Actually initailly, I found it really futile to study because everytime I start to, I just feel so tired and I just end up giving up while hoping for the best to happen even a miracle. Like everything could just fly into my brain.
Miss TVV:(laughs) Is it because you're emotionally tired?

Hmm.. oh boy that actually started me thinking. Was I really physically tired or was I just emotionally drained?? Emotionally drained. Like I don't want to go on no more.

Not ready for goodbye- ALL 4 ONE

2006-07-09T22:57:00.000+08:00

FRIDAY
The day i skipped school and well college day too. Hmm... at least we did something productive. HEE. Met clare and LP in town, god it was suppose to be OUR day out to take neoprints and exchange uniforms or maybe not exactly. haha. It ended up with LP going home at 530 with mister andrew and mui not even turning up :( So it was left with poor me and clare on a date.
We went to marina square, walked around, tried on shades and well acted spastic. We decided to eat at HAN'S! Hahaha.. dinner was retarded really. I whipped out my ipod and listened to emo songs right after we ate our spaghetti. I shared my list of them and she too. Then i passed the ipod to and she was so rough with it, the ear piece got a taste of our dinner. Silly clare. argh! haha.

My current LIST of songs(well i'll only name ten)
1. Craig David's ONE LAST DANCE
2. Brandy's HAVE YOU EVER
3. Relient K's GETTING INTO YOU
4. The Veronica's WHEN IT ALL FALLS APART
5. Delta Goodrem's LOST WITHOUT YOU
6. Backstreet Boys' I STILL
7. Katherine Mcphee's MY DESTINY
8. Augustana's BOSTON
9. Rascal Flatts' THESE DAYS
10. Pink's WHO KNEW

yupp.
love them esp the first one.

2006-07-03T18:38:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. i received this shocking message yesterday and i was lost for words and like OMFG. Here's how the message went.

Ok... I THINK i'm in an extreme sober state now... I've been trying to get you out of my mind but i can't do it anymore!! Ha Ha... I don't know about how r u now, but i miss u terribly u know ): in depression mood again i guess.. Lol. Don't u ever ignore this sms girl!

Sender:
Owen

Sent:
19:27:06
02-07-06

Actually, i really had no intentions to reply AT ALL. I mean like what was i suppose to say???? The fact is he didn't even know how to get the So- called lovey dovey message across. Like why the hell would a message like this contain laughter and nonsense. I simply didn't want to entertain it!!! Doesn't he know there is already someone else.

Then i received yet another of his message today. blea. Saying i was an idiot to not have replied him. Fine! Fine! You want a reply. I'll give you a piece of my mind then.

This was my reply:
If you haven't already realised, I've never liked in THAT sort of way. And in fact, I just treat you like any one of my friends. I didn't see any need to reply simply cos it was a problem you have to deal with YOURSELF. If you were to let THIS matter come between us then i'm afraid you might have just lost yourself a friendship.

Say I'm mean
Say I'm heartless
Say whatever you want
I speak my mind and that's what i do.
I don't care if it hurts you so terribly.
I'm outspoken
I don't like to be pretentious and besides THIS is a clear signal that I've NEVER had the intentions of leading you on.
The basic fact is I 've never liked you.

"I'm quite sure he'll be quite hurt but i guess if you really want to make it clear to him, then he gotta deal with it."

2006-07-01T23:04:00.000+08:00

MY England DARLINGS are playing tonight. BEAT those portugueses down!
I'm gonna get my england band on. whooooooooooohoooooooooooo! o0hh, I'm waiting for my KAKA to appear for brazil too! Tonight's so gonna be heaven. heh heh

And i can't wait for WEDNESDAY. muacks I so wanna see you :D

2006-07-01T22:48:00.000+08:00

Hey dearie clare,
This entry is for YOU. Well, i guess it's because you gave me that pretty little card and it means a whole lot to me. I guess we've got to thank THAT "L" person for bringing us EVEN closer. It's really a blessing in disguise right?? And just to let you know, you're one of my best friends too! LOVE YOU LOADS DEAR!! <3

p.s I wanted to upload the card BUT it's too big and the words that meant more then anything else can't be seen at all :(

MUI, LP, CLARE!! YESTERDAY WAS FUN FUN FUN!!! HAHAHAHA... I guess we're all lobster-red and hurting right?? We've got a date on FRIDAY girlssssssssss. muacks

2006-06-20T22:12:00.000+08:00

THE conversation with HuiJia

jia: Hey deb , look I got my second piercing!
bra: ermm.. right i got mine too. Loook!
jia: We should go get our bellies pierced together too. I guess piercing has its addiction.
bra: haha okay i'll go with you. How can there be an addiction?? Don't be retarded you.
jia: I swear it's true, hmm.. i guess it's the alcohol they apply. I'm addicted to it.

-_________-'''
Somebody save me

2006-06-20T22:02:00.000+08:00

The channel 8 news writer (or whatever you call that person to be) just filled the whole nation with an absolutely pathetic lame piece of information.

" jing wan de re qi shi er ling ling liu er ling ling liu "
Translation: Today's date is 20062006.

OMG HOW LAME CAN THE WORLD GET.
-______-

2006-06-19T22:35:00.000+08:00

ADIDAS prem teambag
For the record I didn't buy that nike futsal(which i wanted so badly) i got an ADIDAS tote bag instead. It's way cooler and ain't nobody has it except me. LOVE IT. MUACKS. I love YOU more. nehnehneh

2006-06-19T22:08:00.000+08:00

Hey baby, is that you?

I'm reminiscing, dreaming old dreams
Wishing on wishes
Like you would be here
I wake up and tear drops
They fall down like rain
Guess not much has changed
Go to bed
Dream of you
That's what I'm doing these days

2006-06-12T22:20:00.000+08:00

you and I

we never had it easy baby

we had to work so hard

and everytime it feels like we're gonna make it

that's when it falls apart, but

oooooooohoo

baby i'll take my chances with you

oooooooohoo

baby i'll take my chances with you

every night i think about the mistakes I've made

i try to change my ways

(nothings gonna change my ways)

and I don't mind all the little games we play

and all the foolish things you say, cause

oooooooohoo baby

i'll take my chances with you

that's what i'm gonna do

oooooooohoo baby

i'll take my chances with you

love is what you make it

so give it one more try

cause I get turned down when you're not around

I just can't take it all

you and I

we never had it easy baby

we've both been hurt before

(both been hurt before)

and only time will tell us if we're gonna make it

there's no way to be sure, but

oooooooohoo baby

i'll take my chances with you

that's what i'm gonna do

oooooooohoo baby i'll take my chances with you

you know it's true

oooooooohoo baby

i'll take my chances with you

that's what i'm gonna do

oooooooohoo baby

i'll take my chances

i'll take my chances with you

Somehow this what my heart wants to say (to YOU). Though I don't know if we'll make this work or it may never even last but i guess we should give it a try 'cause I don't want to look back regretting having you slip through my fingers.

2006-06-11T00:03:00.000+08:00

FOR ME, IT'S YOU

I've thought it through..and I guess or rather i realised my heart doesn't really beat for you the same way it beats for the other YOU. I want YOU more than anyone else. I suppose that's why i was dying to get back to singapore. Those 5 days were the most horrible. I missed you. I really do. I swear I do.

2006-06-10T23:22:00.000+08:00

BOO!! I'm finally back from camp.. it was quite fun but i wanted to hurry back for my NIKE FUTSAL. heh heh. I 'm getting it TOMORROW. Ohh.. i so can't wait to get my hands on you. I LOVE YOU

confusion Part 2

2006-06-02T13:32:00.000+08:00

Is it clear enough when a guy sends you messages day after day, night after night and actually every waking hour that he has? He gets upset when you don't reply them. He sends u Good night messages which show of his intentions for you. But what if you're apprehensive of what your past life can implicate on your life with him in the near future.

the killing

2006-06-02T13:20:00.000+08:00

I never knew killing a cockroach required so much energy. I could swear I lost a few calories just trying to murder that DAMNED bug.

Was happily brushing my teeth when from the corner of my eye I spotted a Black/Brown (mind you I couldn't see clearly. My contacts were off what??) okay, anyway, it was scampering across the kitchen floor and I was so totally shou mang jiao luan (direct translation for hand busy leg messy) Hmm.. And I went hysterical screaming "Oh shit!! Tiffy, got COCKroach!" she came rushing into the kitchen. "WHERE?!" "Under the cabinet beside the fridge."
We had a plan. She would grab the HUNTER spray while I took our protective gear- our towels. Cover our mouth lest that filthy thing flies into our mouths, we didn't want that for sure.

So we set out on our mission (but before that we wore the kitchen slippers.) Psssssst Psssst Pssst..Psst.. my sister sprayed while I watched it wither and swirl but never did we anticipate it flying.

"ARGH! ArgH!"
"SHIT!"
"IT’S FLYING HERE!"
"No! No! WAIT! IT'S STOPPED!"

Inched towards the scene and...it scampered and darted out of the kitchen into the hallway, down the alley and into my brothers room. It was pitch dark. (We were making a hell lot of noise that mummy woke up) "You go in, quick kill it before it crawls on Shawn." "NO.. I don't dare!" LAUGHS. Lauughs. By then, the master bedroom door opened, (we kicked the kitchen slippers off hiding them in our room because they were not meant for OUTSIDE the kitchen) my mum looked aloof

"What are you' all up to? Go and sleep Now!"
"But.. but the cockroach is in the room!"
"Go and sleep! NOW!"

This morning I went into his room to check where it was and it's still missing.

give me

2006-05-29T00:26:00.000+08:00

Confused is the only word that describes me, amidst these rubbish I'm still waiting for.....